Muscle atrophy depression
I’ve always been really lean - I’m 5’10 130lbs. My whole life been super super thin and I’ve worked so hard to build up my muscle tone and be a healthy, active person. I got injured 3 weeks ago (I’m a week out from surgery) and I put on some shorts today. When I looked at my legs I gasped and almost cried. My left calf is so, so much smaller now. And I can’t do shit about it. I am just really having a hard time today overall. I can’t do anything I love to do. I can’t go outside beyond my back deck (my house is all stairs) I can’t be out on my farm with my animals. I can’t be in my garden. I literally lay in bed with my leg raised all day. Since surgery it’s painful to have my foot down at all - so I just scooter around for necessities and then straight back to horizontal.
This is fucking rough. All I want to do is be hiking again, walking my dogs, doing Pilates, seeing my friends. Overall I’ve maintained such a positive mood and outlook and I know how fortunate I am - my injury isn’t the worst of the worst at all (tightrope) if anything I got so lucky… but how do you deal with this? I’m literally wasting away.