u/anon_depressy

I’m feeling good about it all. I’ve had a few moments where I wanted to have a drink but not enough to cave.

I dealt with some pretty high stress and triggering shit over the weekend with my roommates. Very much reminiscent of the relationship I escaped when they took me in. I’ve never been more ready to get into my new space.

Watching his drunkness and everything that transpired afterwards definitely was a huge turn off for alcohol… again. Old me would’ve just found a parking lot to escape to and drink a few tall boys in my car. But instead I did what no one did for me when I was with my ex, I helped my friend get out of the house even if it was just for a little while, and made sure she knew that what was happening was not okay - but that I loved her and I’d always be there to support her.

Anyway… I’ve stayed sober through a lot this week. I’m proud I didn’t numb it.

And I’ve told myself I was going to get sober a million times. I need this time to be different.

I’m a single mom working 2 jobs. My kid has been struggling at school with kids and bullying and making friends. And I’ve been struggling with over drinking. I feel like I’m failing him and myself.

Every time I’ve drank recently I’ve been getting black out drunk. But I’ve been maintaining, even tho I’m running on fumes. Still showing up to both my jobs no matter how hung over. But not today. Today I dropped the ball hard. I missed both my jobs. Stayed drunk for a very long time. And it needs to stop.

My kid deserves more. I deserve more.

I’m tired of the shame spiral. I need support. I have no time for therapy. Most everybody in my life drinks. I need somewhere to be able to talk about this. I need a community. I need this to stop. For good. It’s costing me too much.

1 week down

I haven’t been doing good