Sorrow over my singleness
Hello, dear friends.
I’m reaching out to strangers on the internet in the early AM out of a bit of desperation.
I am a nearly 27-year-old follower of Christ, and there has been no man for me.
I am mature, kind, beautiful, have a great theology of marriage, and I believe I would be a lovely wife. I certainly don’t have the tough personality to do okay staying single. And God blessed me with a loving father, but he is in his 70s and will not be around to love me forever.
Many men have liked me, but none have been acceptable for a God-honoring marriage (*Please* do not kick me while I’m down by saying my standards are too high—that is absolutely not what is happening here).
To make matters worse—a man came to work at my small office 8 months ago. I thought he had unusually solid character, and he really seemed to like me. He wasn’t exactly my type off the bat, but I kept making myself think about him and almost forced him to grow on me so that I would be ready to say “Yes” to an actual good man when he asked me out (and grow on me he did). He knows I am leaving my job soon, and I’ve been thinking that he was only waiting on me to leave my job to ask me out. Until the last few days…when he started flirting with my friend/roommate in front of me. This is what really pulled me into this pit. It just always seems too good to be true.
I know the statistics. It is not good for an evangelical woman to be 27 and still single. Her likelihood of finding a husband is dramatically diminished.
I also understand that God does not owe anyone a spouse, no matter how their character is or what they’ve done (that would be prosperity Gospel). But..I think it’s okay to grieve the situation for a while? I want a counterpart to support in life, who will also care for me *so* badly, and I believe God established that as the norm for women. But, in this fallen world, it doesn’t always happen. I’m just really feeling the lonely ache tonight.
On the one hand, at least cognitively, I know God is sovereign. On the other hand, lately I’ve been wishing I could redo my life. Maybe if I had gone to a large, Christian university (instead of a small, secular one) I could have met a good match before he married someone else. Or, maybe if I didn’t spend 2 years after college on the mission field in West Africa I would have had time to find someone back home. Now, I am in seminary, and as crazy as it sounds, there seem to be no men here for my lovely single friends and I, either. They have different vocations (as different as they are called to live outside the country again and I am not), they are immature or in sexual/pornographic sin, or something else is off.
TL,DR: I know God is sovereign and good. But it’s really seeming like I’m going to have to stay single for life, and I am deeply sorrowful over this right now. Please pray for my comfort, learning, and/or whatever else I need in this season. Thank you ❤️