I started my mdr lymph node tb treatment on 11th april and now within a month of starting treating, I feel extremely weak. I don't feel any energy in my legs, both of my feet pains when I stand, mental confusion on peak, mood swings, depression and insomnia.
I am taking good diet despite of that I am facing these issues. Also, I noticed some black spots on my tongue also know as black hairy tongue.
I cleared neet in 2024 and got a govt clg in a tier 3 city of UP. I was somehow happy that the struggle I faced for 2 years after 12th finally gave me results.
I always dreamed of getting a clg in tier 1 or atleast tier 2 city because since my childhood, I have been living in a tier 3 city with no zomato and swiggy and even without basic outlets.
So, the session began in oct 2024, I always struggled to make friends but got some decent fellows whom I consider my friends today even after so many things happened. I started enjoying the journey and also got a tag of Mr Fresher. Met some supporting seniors who always stood with me, supported me and are still supportive. The regret of selecting a clg in such city was finally getting out of my mind.
Then comes the terminals around march, almost everyone failed in our class except a few. I was happy that atleast I didn't fail alone(hehe). Everything was good, I studied well and I started enjoying studies for the first time in my life without any pressure.
I got good connections in clg so seniors used to call me for getting students out of hostel for "sisthacharya". And from there the things started to go the other way. I got caught twice by HOD of anatomy for this nuisance, even though he knew that I did that due to pressure. Ever since, I stopped taking these kind of orders from my seniors. But, idk what problem the anatomy HOD had with me, he started to point me out everytime in almost every matter. He used to ask irrelevant questions in class which I couldn't answer.
In may 2025, I started getting high grade fever and cough for more than 2 weeks. My health started deteriorating even though I took care of my diet. Then after a couple of tests, in august 2025, I got diagnosed with Lymph Node TB. I was shattered that my life won't be normal like others now. Also, due to extreme weakness and high grade fever everyday for almost 2 months, I studied very less. I started the medications in august and by that time my pre proffs started. I got permission from a senior faculty to give all three subjects viva in one day, the least he could do for me coz I got too weak after loosing almost 15 kgs of weight. The moment I got into the anatomy HOD's chamber, he said, wear double mask and ordered me to sit in a side of his room as I can spread infection according to him. Such a shameful thing, as I was already wearing a mask and was diagnosed with Extrapulmonary TB which even doesn't spread. Then, he order the Jr to take the viva and I got home after that.
My proffs were in September and a week before I got a call from anatomy department that sir wants to check whether I am capable of sitting in proff or not, so I rushed to clg, and then he again took my viva. He made me sit for almost 2 hours in DH and then he came asked some questions that I could answer coz I didn't revise and then said "why you are giving proff exam when you didn't study at all, you should sit in supplementary exams directly." The moment he said this, I knew that I got selected for supple exams which is an old tradition in our clg which I heard. So I started studying hard and I got passed in biochem and physio with good marks than others, but I got supple in anatomy. Although my marks in theory were more than a girl in class who just got 1 marks less than me, I got supple on the basis of internal marks.
I was again shattered but this time due to the failure I faced for the first time in my life. And the special thing to note that my clg was only the one in which there were maximum supple in anatomy in all over state clgs.
Supple exams came, I got well prepared for exams and my Anat paper 1 went well. I had been facing anxiety attacks from 2020 and the episode accelerated after I started my ATT meds. During my proffs exams I got 3 anxiety attacks in a week. My friends who knew my condition were supportive and they handled me well throughout. And then came the anatomy paper 2, I was well prepared but was lagging in histo and embryo and also had a fear that if I got failed this time I will be getting an year back, around 2 am, I started getting anxiety attacks and no one was there to handle me coz my all my friends went for attending a wedding. I somehow managed to handle myself and slept for almost 3 hours so that I could manage and write the exam next day.
So, our exam timing was 11 to 2 pm, so while I was outside exam centre, few guys who also got supple decided to take phones with them. I saw that my friend with whom I used to go library everyday was also taking phone inside the exam hall. After having a sleepless night with an anxiety attack, I was frightened and again my anxiety hit me up. I decided to take device although I never did this even in my terminals coz I had no guts. That one decision took away all the happiness and recovery as my phone got caught during exam due to a guy who forgot to silent his phone.
I DIDN'T CHEAT, BUT YES I TOOK THE DEVICE IN THE EXAM HALL, FOR WHICH I DON'T GIVE ANY JUSTIFICATION AS I KNOW I WAS WRONG.
I started crying in front of faculty that I brought it up by mistake but others didn't and as a result they took our phones and made us to sign UFM. One of the teacher who knew me also tried to stop other teachers from taking the action. The other batchmates who got caught didn't even try to show that they were guilty. After that, we tried as much as we could, but the decision came and the university decided to give year back to us.
All the seniors who hyped how they cheated in proff exams got against this and started to prove me wrong in this just coz I was caught. I accept that it was wrong in this, that I took device to exam hall, but here are some questions which I wanna raise
Is it right that university hasn't returned my phone even after it took a harsh decision of giving an year back?
They took my password and noted it. They checked my phone and then switched off it. Who gave them the right to note down my password? I am ready to get my phone checked in my presence but what if someone else get my phone as they already have my password norted? Everyone's phone has some private pictures which I also do have, what if someone leaks them?
The Principal could help us with this, but he didn't, but why the hell he couldn't get our phones back and order me not to come to office for this issue again?
These questions are constantly running in my mind, it's been 5 months and I have been getting these thoughts again and again in my mind which is leading me towards depression. Also, recently I got diagnosed with MDR Lymph Node TB. I am preparing for year back of exam rn, but very doubtful of my career and life after this incident in my clg.
At last, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Summary- I got diagnosed with Lymph node tb in first year and also I was targeted by anatomy hod, so I received supple in anatomy. In supple exams, due to an anxiety episode which I described above, I took phone (didn't cheat but yeah it was wrong I accept), and I got caught and uni got me registered into ufm and I got year back. These all ruined my mental health as I am already suffering since may 2025, and recently got diagnosed with MDR Lymph node tb. The uni called me for my sentence and they noted my phone's password which is not right and they didn't return my phone till now even after taking such a harsh decision. And related to this, I have asked some questions
I started mdr tb regimen for my mdr lymph node tb on 11th april. So, the pharmacist said that I have to take bedaquiline 400mg for 2 weeks and I completed it yesterday. So, he has advised now to take bdq 200mg thrice a week on alternate days. He advised me to take it on monday, wednesday and friday. So should I skip bdq for 2 days and start it from monday?