u/affectionate4fish

Hello. I apologize if this isn't the right community to ask this in but it's been on my mind lately.

Background. I'm mixed choctaw and white. Light-ish skin, thick dark hair (all over my body which is relevant later), dark eyes. Definitely white passing but occasionally people will ask if I'm Mexican or middle Eastern.

Things like this happened to me quite a bit in my childhood. I grew up with my white side of the family. I'm wondering if these experiences were (subtle) racism or just having a shitty family

1. When going on a trip to Mexico, my mom and step-dad gave my (blonde, light eyed) sister a tape whistle. I asked them where my whistle was and they sat me down to explain that I looked "too Mexican" to be a target for kidnapping/tape in Mexico. I was 13.

2. When I hit puberty, my underarm and leg hair grew in very dark and coarse. My sister and her friends made it their mission to publicly humiliate me for it whenever they could. I was 11 and ended up teaching myself to shave.

3. My mom hated my eyebrows. Saying they were thick and bushy like caterpillars. She begged me time and time again to let her take me to get waxed. Especially my unibrow. When I finally caved, I cried at the waxing place and the lady wouldn't do it. My mom was mad at me the whole way home. I was 10ish

4. When confiding in an aunt about wanting to be enrolled and be more involved in choctaw culture, she very condescendingly told me "Sweetie. You're white"

5. My mom cut my hair off as a punishment once because she knew I wanted long hair

Some of these instances did have to do with race but others were about features I attribute to my race. I'm wondering if these instances were racist, sexist, or just bad family?

I appreciate any feedback and I understand if my post isn't allowed here