gratitude
A while back I was going through my camera roll, when I found out that my childhood videos still had their original date visible at the top. That's when I saw a video of me, post-surgery, on March 27th 2009. I was sitting on the countertop in our kitchen with a bottle of 7up, playing while a bandage covers my right eye. That video was recorded by my khala (aunt), 2 days after i had to get my right eye removed due to a form of eye cancer, known as "Retinoblastoma".
Seeing that date, "2009" made me realize how far i've come, both in terms of actual growth and also in terms of my relationship with the idea of living with only one functional eye. As a kid, i used to despise having to use a prosthetic eye, as it used to be very frustrating for me. So for the greater part of my childhood, i would refuse to wear the prosthetic and instead i would cover the right side of my face with my hair. Whenever someone would ask me about my eye, younger me would get upset over it but over the years, alhumdulilah i've realized how blessed i am and how merciful Allah has been to me.
Writing has always been an outlet for me. So i ended up joining instagram in 2019 to write about my eye in hopes of feeling better about it, wo alag baat hai that it wasnt until mid 2025 that i finally opened up about my journey as a cancer survivor. Initially it was tough to open up after being so closed off about this topic for years, but alhumdulilah i got a LOT of support from all my friends and family. I even got in contact with a few other cancer survivors through reddit.
Furthermore, i participated in in a project called, "The Fight We Never Asked For". Taking part in something like that was personally a huge step for me in being confident with myself and the response to that post made me realize how supportive the people around me are. When i see that March 27th wali video, i never imagined i would have the ability to share my story like this. Im truly grateful to have such amazing people around me, and although i still have a long journey ahead, im proud of how far i've come.
Alhumdulilah<3