Always feeling overwhelmed in life 😕
Hello!
I came here because I am feeling very overwhelmed lately. I have depression CTPSD and anxiety from growing up and I am now 27 years old and I am married to a really supportive husband. I am someone who is very artistic in what most would call girly. I love being able to draw, do my makeup, watch movies, go to raves, listen to music and go on adventures. For a quick background growing up my dad was a narcissistic bipolar controlling parent. He was the type to make you feel like if you're laying down even for a second then you're wasting time. He did the other things like ripping apart my self esteem and putting me down but over the years I have tried very hard to build myself back up and I have even done a few sessions of Behavioral counseling so I can identify how I'm feeling what I needed to do but it's hard to actually find the best method on my own.
The last few months has become very overwhelming to the point that I feel like I'm gonna explode every day. I have a very fast paced, stressful job in service BDC. we are constantly making outbound calls and taking in calls and reaching out to people to schedule for service and answer questions like pricing and for parts. But we are constantly helping the advisors so having a slow day is never really slow, you always have to be busy, we always have daily numbers we have to meet. So when I get off work I am very mentally tired and some days it's very hard to get the energy to do my responsibilities. We go to plasma, go to the gym, make dinner, take care of our dog and other side work. But wheb I come home and I just feel like I don't have enough time to cook dinner and do any of the fun activities I actually want to do like make kandi (bracelets) for raves, draw, put together outfits, plan trips, etc.
My husband helps out as much as he can. He does a lot of the housework like the yard and just picking up when I don't have time. He wants to do anything he can to help me. But I still feel so overwhelmed all the time. for example, our AC was out and we were having to go back and forth between a hotel, home and work. I had no time to really take care of myself and have a proper hygiene like showering, making sure I felt put together in terms of my hair/makeup, clothes and just feeling ready for the day. But as soon as we got everything sorted out with the AC I had to come home, Unpack, and repack for a girls trip (just in a city 30 minutes away but at a resort) and I had hardly any time to pack for this and I ended up leaving later to meet the girls for check in and I just felt so overwhelmed. Now I'm back from the girl's trip and I have to unpack, unbraid my box braids (I have a lot of hair so it takes 3-4 hours) then I have find time to rebraid my hair in the next week or 2 before we go to Las Vegas. And there's just a list of stuff piling up in my head, like I know I have to deep clean the shower here soon, even though I just did it 2 weeks ago. I know I need to sweep and vacuum the bedroom even though I just did it a few days ago. We have a dog and with my hair and the dust it builds up quickly. Between doing house work, personal stuff, and work, I just feel like there's never enough time and even when I do have an hour or two to spare, I just don't have the energy to get myself to do it. This feels like a constant cycle and I don't know how to fix it. I know that it takes time and effort to make time for yourself so you can enjoy the things for yourself but how do I do that without feeling like I'm neglecting everything else?
Our roommate doesn't do anything besides work and spend time with his friends and go out. I get so jealous because we spend so much time on the yard, cleaning, organizing our stuff (we just went through clothes and shoes and donated a bunch for exampe) and he doesn't do anything. He does his required turn of yard work but it's like minimum effort, but then he has no other responsibilities. He will literally tell us he didn't do anything all day Saturday while we were doing a bunch of tasks. I have other friends who are like this as well, where they don't clean, they don't do anything else besides go to work and go do fun things and it just makes me so sad and feel like I'm missing out on so much, but then whenever I go to hang out with friends or invite people over, I'm always getting the job of hosting and setting everything up and they don't understand how tiring this is. For some reason no one else ever wants to host anymore or make the plans, we always have to do everything and I'm just so tired of it all.