u/Zestyclose-Ad3515

I woke up from a 8 year coma recently and I’m not saying anything is wrong medically, but I do think I may have woken up in a version of Peterborough that was assembled from memory fragments and municipal rumours.

At first everything seemed normal. Then I tried to leave.

The hospital discharge nurse handed me my paperwork and said, “You’ll figure out Lansdowne eventually.” I asked what that meant. She just circled it three times and said, “It means you will.”

Outside, I attempted to orient myself. Every road I took eventually returned me to either:

a Tim Hortons

a Dispensary

or the same Canadian Tire that I’m fairly sure is larger on the inside than the outside allows physically

I asked someone for directions out of town and they looked genuinely confused, like I’d asked to see the ocean. They pointed vaguely and said, “Just keep going until Chemong stops being Chemong.” I don’t think Chemong ever stops being Chemong.

The Lift Lock is real, but I’m pretty sure it’s not operating under normal physical laws. Boats go in, come out, and sometimes look slightly older than when they entered. Nobody talks about this.

Every night there’s some kind of event happening at Del Crary Park. I tried asking what the event is called and was told, “It depends who you ask.” That didn’t help.

The most unsettling part is the collective agreement not to question any of it. People just accept that you will eventually loop back to the same three intersections, that you will develop a preference for specific Tim Hortons seating sections, and that “yeah bud” is both a greeting and a conclusion to most conversations.

I tried leaving once more yesterday. I made it as far as the edge of town before the road quietly became residential again, like it was embarrassed I tried.

I’m not saying Peterborough isn’t real.

I’m just saying I haven’t seen evidence that it is.