u/Yosta56the3rd

Half of this was written on a plane, half in a Best Western. I do not accept responsibility for glaring inaccuracies, I was supposed to fly out yesterday but Air Fucking Canada cancelled our flight morning of and we couldn't get it switched around. This post encompasses, in total, two 3 am wake ups, one mental breakdown, and roughly 14 hours of travel via both car and plane. And. More than a few Guinesses by the end.

Abolish Air Canada.

Anyways,

• Oh yeah MaxFunDrive, once upon a time I dreamed of donating to MaxFun.
• In a 100% scripted intro Justin tries to convince us that he enjoys playing Loraveth, but that would entail him enjoying a TTRPG so that's obviously false. Griffin pretends that the players have agency and like he doesn't know what they're going to do next, but they can only ever do one thing at a time and often they don't have a "next thing" until it's started.
• "The fact that you adopted an adult man is a curveball," didn't Griffin have fucking Gunkdalf or whoever pawn Doober off Lotoraveth?
• "Rictus is just trying to fight his inner demons man, he's trying not to be an evil murderer." You sure about that? You sure about that's why that is?
• And Hellgrammit, who they remark that everyone loves because Clint was just going for it for a while there. I swear between episode like 1 and 2, or whenever Hellgrammit got ganked by the plants in the trial of abjuration and then revived you can hear Clint desperately scramble for a reason to keep giving a shit and then completely fall off until he tries to escape the island.
• Some natter about Clint's set up that we cannot fucking see, so who cares.
• Necromancy, Zambambinoes is invading the Luigi Mansion-eh
• Right into it with Loraveth, who is currently on the ceiling of the library. He spies the rune that powers the barrier blocking off the second floor in the office that the Burgerman fled into after killing one of the Spiders.
• Griffin tells Justin what the undead blob is doing, Justin asks to roll perception to see what the undead blob is doing, fucking kill me.
  • I have a player like this, he thinks he's getting the information to make better decisions but he's really just telling me he didn't listen to a thing I said and is perfectly okay with wasting my time.
• My laptop's time is still on home time, that tripped me out a bit.
• Something something Loraveth drops onto the corpse mound and gets BEEG. I don currrrrr.
• Loraveth's AC is still 9, this season is pathetic.
• Loraveth gets bit and rolls a nat 1 on a CON save, gets poisoned. Gets poissoned. poisson. mmmmm.
• repeating Necrotic damage until Loraveth passes the CON save.
• Other people now, Helllllgramamam and Scorpo and fucking whoever, Rictus is also there.
• Clint wisely bails on the situation to get away from his worst son
• What is this fucking music?
• Sorry there was some turbulence so I missed some stuff, I think it's Rictus' turn as I've just heard Travis declare "TIME STOP" because he's a stupid fucking power grubbing munchkin.
• Travis rolls a Wisdom Save against this level 9 spell and gets vored by an ORB. He ends up just freezing himself in the orb.
• Death is in the orb, fucking, sure, whatever.
• "I'll give you another action here," Griffin really isn't hiding the kid gloves with Travis eh? Like he might go off at a second's notice if he doesn't get his way.
• Rictus grabs Scorpo and Thundersteps they see another mound, they go back to the dining room. Words are being said but nothing is fucking happening. This is the MaxFunDrive episode?
• More Turbulence, I also just don't fucking care, I think Loraveth had his turn, got the door open and maybe fucked over Burgerman?
• They argue over the flamability of grease, apparently it's non flammable in 5e(24) but Griffin counters by saying they're using the... 2018 rules???
• "I'm playing Dungeons and Dragons professionally, how much more embarrassed can I be?" Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. What I wouldn't give to be playing D&D right now in my friends Dragonlance campaign.
• Something something, I've fully lost the plot, they're talking about a cape? The article of clothing? Loraveth steps into the sigil that powers the barrier expecting a cape but instead the barrier breaks and the Corpse Mound nearby gets angry.
• The Library shelves open up to form a staircase in addition to the grand stairway, there are other stairs elsewhere but I don't care.
• Loraveth looks into a desk in this room and grabs a nice fountain pen. Just kidding he gets some red fluid in a bottle and rolls a... Charisma saving through against the necrosis contagion? Didn't he say CON earlier?
• Loraveth downs the potion, it's a Potion of Superior Healing, jesus fuck that's a lot of HP, just in a desk? Not in a more... precarious position? You sure Griffaboo? Level 5s running around with Potions of Superior Healing?
• The piano that Loraveth stuffed Doober into is playing.

Ads. Maxfun addition adds.

I have to get onto my next flight.

Also full truth I took a REALLY long break from the episode in that last stretch of the flight, it was about a 3-4 hour flight and just stopped listening for most of it because I didn't want to, and I fell asleep without pausing so I've restarted the episode. Twice.

"We are really behind pace, we haven't even hit the halfway point," good.

• Hellgrammit in the Dining room, he leaves Rictus and the others thank god, and goes down into the drawing room, going after that piano.
• Giant Zombie, Pip the enlarge/reduce gnome is playing away at the piano.
• Hellgrammit uses his Psychic whatever the fuck to find Doober, and Helllllgrammmmm only agrees to help because Doober will tell Loraveth if he doesn't.
• Incredibly awkward silence as Clint selects Maggots for his Infestation spell.
• Pip Zambumbo goes out the window. Nothing else happens. Shut up chud son Doober.
• What is this fucking music?
• I missed whatever the situation RicTravis is in but I also don't fucking care. he casts raise undead on the dead using his necromancy to necromance in the necromancy trial.
• Travis goes somewhere that is not where he was, I have to get off this plane now.
• Hasty Jane kills Hippocrates with a candlestick, which is arguably one of the better scenes so far.
• Hasty, who has already killed someone to be in this fucking trial, freaks out after killing a man and bolts... I, okay, fuck it, I retract my previous statement.
• Travis and Scorpgunk haul Hippocrates up the stairs.
• I don't think I can survive these last 10 minutes. Not when it's fuckin Travis.
• Everything hurts.
• Travi s does another Time Stop and begs to have his way. Scorpo has another voice, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE MAN? WHAT ARE WE EVEN FUCKING DOING HERE, WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS BEST WESTERN ON V A C A T I O N RECAPPING FUCKING ROYALE?????
• Anyways Time Stop fails, Death is back, I don't fully understand this, but this monologue is pretty okay as Griffin accurately accuses Travis of being ignorant of material reality and being power hungry.
• Pranklin gets yoinked, Travis pretends he's capable of anything resembling self reflection or intelligent thought.

My head hurts, I can't keep going, see you in a fortnight for a more normal episode. Fuck.