u/YogurtclosetFickle17

This is just a vent no questions or anything, just telling you what I did lastly, when I accepted the offer to do master studies in material science experiments lab at theat I just knew the basics things of computational chemistry what's it and the science behind and to be honest I was in love in this field but I studied as self learning, anyway when I accepted the master offer and came to the uni, the PI told me you'll do DFT studies with experiments (he didn't tell me that in the interview), however I was happy but I shocked the PI and the university I'm in and the co-supervisor no one expert in DFT and they don't have the resources to do it such clusters or even manageable computer, I didn't stop at this point to blame or giving up, literally I spent hours and hours studying DFT even in weekends I don't go out I spent most of the hours studying running DFT functionals slabs and I went through a lot of simulations using my own computer, then I noticed my computer won't be enough to run really good results I searched for possible computers or collaborators I found one I gave it to my PI and we collobrated with him but his local computer was really slow and sometimes for small results takes month and half, but then I found a grant to use a cluster I applied to it and now I got approval for this grant.

I feel like I have established the ground basis for the lab and gave them the opportunity to explore the computational chemistry world, and I fell I'm proud of my self I didn't give up.

I was talking with a friend and he told about someone he knows, he published 10 papers, 8 as first author and he has h-index 5 that's only in Master in material science, is that thing possible? Even in niche fields I could only made 1 paper as first author in one year and 2 as co-author in two year, I mean how possible bs productive like this in research.

I started to go to therapy because of my group mates and the PI, they drived me to crazy literally, I don't where's the problem, is it me? I'm taking things seriously or they taking everything relax af?

I studied at limited sources university, my previous PI in taught me a lot of things I feel it's treasures in research, as I said we had limited sources but that doesn't mean we stopped our research, we continued and we tried to innovate new methods and so on, and my former PI said one time to me: this is research you always limited and you always have to adapt to innovate. And said: Don't make the Ai your boss, you're boss and the Ai is your associate.

After I finish my studied I went to another university with good facility and new equipment, and new PI he looks good in google scholar, however I went to the new university with values I hold it from my previous PI, that's first shock I got when the Phd student came the the current PI and he was telling him "I asked chatgpt what's the best method to synthesize this material and it says..." and the PI replied "that's good continue and do it", what the hell is going on? I said maybe they know something I don't know, it's been now almost 1 year the Phd student I can confirm he's work entirely is Ai in material science, and he proposed a claim of novelty it was entirely Ai method, and I went to the Postdoc to complain about this shit work it cannot be done as I have some experience in this field and we went together to PI to explain why it cannot be done, in the next meeting the PI asked the Phd student: do you think we can publish your method?. Phd student said: Yes, no one did this before. PI happy and said good this is our novelty!!!! I talked with the postdoc again and he changed his words and said: he has robust idea!!!

I said to myself why I should care, I gave my opinion and they are free to what they do as long as I won't contribute to the Phd student paper and put my name, but this is not the only thing that made me crazy with full of stress, its been almost 1 year and they produce nothing and they worked nothing, because they purchased equipment and didn't arrive yet so they relaxed and do nothing, for my part I was burning my self with what we have right now and do simulation works, for them they delay all things once equipments comes and they always saying oh this easy experiments we can do.

And I have to tell this, the PI knows nothing he sit there and ask questions and doesn't answers yours, anything he redirected me to the Postdoc, and the Postdoc he rarely come to the lab, so everything earned it by myself literally everything, and they always using Ai and the Phd student he has that ego of knowledge because he using Ai he thinks he knows everything, and the Postdoc when I have questions he said go to ask Ai, sometimes with them I suspect on my knowledge and my ability I always say on my self you're not good enough to become a researcher, even though research was my dream, I started to wake up in the morning and telling myself "Why I should do research, what's the benefit of using our data" my values is to contribute to science and become real researcher, their values to finish Phd fast. our mismatch values let me hate my workplace and what I'm doing it, I went to the therapy 2 sessions because I feel with full pressure and anxiety, the therapist said to me there's nothing with your ability, the mismatch values is the reason behind your anxiety and pressure you must deal with it.