7 weeks
You may know my story already as I’ve turned to Reddit a lot during this time. It has helped me fine some solidarity and peace with the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through.
My husband and I a TFMR in early January. We sat through Christmas and new years, pregnant knowing it was not going to be viable (monosomy X with fetal hydrops). It was horrible, devastating. Our first pregnancy. I was, and still am, shattered.
We recently found out I was pregnant again. I tried as soon as I could. It took a few months, but I was able to get pregnant again and tested positive in early April. It’s funny because I never wanted a winter due date (now due mid December) but now it feels like my dream come true? It’s all I want. To be snuggling a newborn healthy baby this December - the same time I was mourning the loss of our last pregnancy.
My question is - how do you stay happy and brave and hopeful? Do you? Last pregnancy I had told many close friends and family by now. Now? Only my mom knows. I feel a lot of peace with nobody else knowing at this point. But the joy is gone. Pregnancy feels like something I have to get through. I’m so anxious all the time. Every cramp or twinge (which is interesting because my TFMR had no obvious pregnancy complications before my first US).
My current obsessive thought is that I’m 6 weeks and 6 days today and not nearly as symptomatic as I was? I had my HCG checked 5w,1d (850); 5w,3d (1800), 5w, 5d (3800); which at first worried about 850 but then pleased with the up trending. By this time last pregnancy I was already having aversions and I think having some nausea? I feel tired, but what’s new? I don’t know. I guess maybe I’ll find anything to scare me.
How do you do it? What do you think? I’d do anything for a healthy rainbow 🌈😭 just like I know we all would.