How to check in without being read as a jerk?
My friend (calling her B) is bipolar and I think she's having some sort of episode. Not educated on it but from the little I know she seems manic. She's becoming extrememly irritable and suspicious and is acting like she knows everything about everything. She's way more rude than usual and says strange things.
- She accused one of my other friends (calling her T) who is extremely anxious about remaining on good terms with the group of being jealous that she is friends with someone they both know (A) and that she is going to a 4-year college while T is going to a community college. T chose this because she wanted to stay close to home and is content with her plans, as well as being extremely close friends with A, much closer than B is with A.
- B also is extremely skeptical of religion and frequently sarcastic about gods and superstitions, but recently began speaking of her college decision as fate and an act of god. When I asked if she was joking, she tried to explain all the reasons it was a divine action. This is really strange to me.
- B is suspicious of every teacher she dislikes as being a pedophile, which is a serious yet not unplausible accusation for our school (it has been true before). However, she thinks that because these teachers talk to her in the halls during passing period asking if she did her work it means she's getting creeped on. She refuses to acknowledge the creepiness of older college guys she talks to (all mid-20s, she is 17).
- She gets mad about a lot of things now, and the intensity is turned way up. B brings us food to school and then gets mad that we eat a lot of it because we should have done better meal prep. She gets pissed about stuff that happened a long time ago out of nowhere and refuses to budge on her theory of why someone did something last year. She gets super angry over little disagreements that mostly boil down to slight wording differences. She is just way more intense.
- B keeps trying to convince me to apply for this and that internship and summer program and I don't know why but she is very very invested in fixing my life, even though what would actually help me is if she remembered anything I've ever asked of her in terms of being an emotionally aware friend. (unrelated issue)
- B is moving very fast paced and intensely in decisions and projects and it's just very strange to the rest of us. She is making a lot of plans for summer but also changing directions alarmingly.
All that leads me (not an expert so i dont actually know) to believe she is in a manic episode. I want to help her learn to manage he velocity but she "doesn't believe in therapy" and acts hostile when I bring up that her behavior is a bit abnormal. I want to be there for her when she inevitably crashes at the end of this but she's being a huge jerk to T and kinda to me too. Any advice on being able to call her attention to the fact that she's getting irrational and intense and hurting her friends without me seeming like an asshole? I want her to listen to me but I'm worried she will just explain my concern away with "jealousy" or something else weird.