u/WolfMan275

And even more specifically, for those of you who were their “first transman”. How did it go? Sexually and emotionally speaking..

I met this woman who doesn’t live in my area, so we’ve just been texting a lot and talking about meeting up in the future to have some physical fun. She considers herself straight, but has been with one pre-op transman in the past and has explored with women too at one point.

I’m having trouble getting a read on her though. Like we will text all day and she’s definitely flirty and caring. And we’ve sexted, pretty consistently talking about hooking up in the future and how she can’t wait. But she got really quiet when I was describing my anatomy to her, and what I can/cannot do. She’s said twice she doesn’t think it would be problematic. But her quietness and lack of response when my trans ness does come up is spiking my anxiety though.

I’ve only had hookups during my phallo process except for one other situationship that ended terribly. It was my fault for not coming out sooner but we still had sex a couple times afterwards. But it ended because eventually she said she wouldn’t seriously date me because I’m trans. She was straight and had never been with a trans person before.

I’m just worried about my current situationship being similar to the last one. But I’m not sure what to do. Do I just wait and see until we met in person and have sex? Or if she’s not saying stuff like “it’s no problem, don’t worry, etc.” then should I just end things with her already?

Wondering if I should just exclusively date queer women at this point, or if I’m overthinking this. I just don’t wanna go through what I went through with my last situationship again. 🤦🏽‍♂️

Title really says it’s all… and honestly, it would be perfect in a way, because I’m not emotionally available right now. Met this girl recently who I had really great chemistry with. She told me she was just looking for some ongoing fun. But I haven’t told her I’m trans yet. She could still reject me just for that, but if she is cool with it, I’m feeling disappointed with where I’m at still, especially from a sexual perspective. I haven’t been able to penetrate still for 3.5 yrs due to UL complications, and it’s really been bothering me lately. I know sex isn’t all about penetration, but when I was telling my cis friend about this situation, he made a comment like “she wants somebody to fuck her hard man”. And I just felt frustrated because I still can’t do that. And my body is different, so I feel like it’s a learning curve that I have to educate her on. Like she’s just looking for a fun situationship, but my dick is different so it wouldn’t be the heterosexual sex she’s used to.
This stems from mainly me still having trouble finding my current dick sexy. I think my results turned out great, but it’s definitely different still, if that makes sense. I know things will get better when I will feel most complete- balls, UL, and medical tattooing. All which would make *massive* differences in the bedroom for me.

I’ve honestly being going through a hook up phase myself for though for the past handful of years, as I’ve gone through these surgeries. I haven’t let whatever phallo stage I was in prevent me from missing opportunities. But I kept telling myself I was fine, at least I had somewhat of a dick. But that’s starting to get to me now 3.5 years in.

I want to pursue this and will because I’m not letting my insecurity hold me back, as I never have. But I’m struggling with feeling confident about the state I’m in. Anybody gone through something similar?