My birthday is coming up and I’m hosting a BBQ in my grandmother’s garden. She passed away recently, and this felt like a meaningful way to honor her – especially because our traditional family BBQ didn’t happen this year for the first time ever (since none of her children organized anything as they usually would). I wanted to bring everyone together in her space for the very last time before the house is being sold.
I explicitly stated in the invitation that it will be a vegetarian BBQ. Now my mom told me that several family members have been complaining to her (not to me directly) about the vegetarian part and asking whether we could “at least do half and half“. Nobody has had the courage to bring it up with me directly.
For context: my family is mostly Polish-influenced, pretty meat-heavy, and many of my uncles in particular are the classic “a meal without meat isn’t a meal” type.
I honestly don’t really know what to do right now. On the inside I’m furious how grown adults can’t have basic respect for me and my decisions and go half a day without meat. I would like to speak up for myself but on the other hand I also don’t want to crash the whole day.
I’m fully expecting comments on that day, and there’s a real chance someone might even show up with their own meat.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? Should I make some statement again beforehand?
Would love to hear how you would navigate this – especially when family dynamics and grief are already in the mix.