Conservative lesbian, coming to term with being alone
I’m a conservative homosexual woman, and I’ve realized I’ll probably be alone forever. I’m also probably a lot more conservative than the lesbians in this subreddit. I assume most of you are moderate or right-leaning, whereas I am actually far right. (I find it hilarious when the left-wing media call figures like Trump “far right.” To me, Trump is very much a moderate.) That’s completely fine. I know most people here won’t totally agree with me, but I’m confident that at the very least I can have some sort of honest discussion here, which would be impossible in other lesbian subreddits. I’m posting because I’d genuinely like some thoughts from women who might understand where I’m coming from.
I was never liberal. I grew up Republican (voted for Romney in my school’s mock election lol) and used to identify with MAGA. Over the years, I have gone further to the right. I identify myself politically as a paleoconservative Christian nationalist.
My Faith
As far as my faith, I grew up in a totally non-religious household. My father was culturally Jewish but not religious at all, and my mother was vaguely Christian but also not religious. However, even when I was very young, I used to read Christian theology books. I’ve always been drawn to Christianity. I have always had an interest in the Catholic faith. I went to Catholic school for one year growing up, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I also briefly lived in Madrid, Spain, for about two months and fell in love with the cathedrals there. I took an RCIA class and did not end up converting, just because I’m not sure it’s right for me at this moment in time. So, currently I’d say I’m a non-denominational Christian. I don’t have a specific branch or church, but I very much love God.
On Homosexuality & “Queer”
I’ve also come to terms with my homosexuality. I believe something very specific (which I’m not willing to share) based on my own personal interpretation, and I’m aware that I’m probably the only one with this viewpoint, and that’s okay.
Also, I’m not a queer. I don’t identify with that word at all. I have never been able to receive a clear definition of what that means and how it’s different from lesbian or gay. To me, it refers to a radical liberalist political ideology that I certainly don’t subscribe to. There are other homosexuals who don’t subscribe to it either. I don’t understand why just because someone happens to be a homosexual, they are automatically required to be a raging leftist. Where are the normal gays?
My Values
I am pro-life and don’t believe transgenderism is real. I don’t understand why lesbians and gays are lumped in with that nonsense. Regardless of how you view homosexuality (whether you believe it’s a sin or not), at least one can acknowledge that it is a real thing. Transgenderism, on the other hand, is a mentally ill delusion. You cannot alter biological, immutable characteristics. No matter how many hormones you pump into your body or how many surgeries you have, if you were born a male with XY chromosomes, you will die a male with XY chromosomes.
I’m a traditionalist and want a traditional lifestyle. My goal is to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, with children either through adoption or artificial insemination. I’m very feminine and dress femininely and modestly.
I want an older wife (I’m in my twenties). Due to maturity reasons. It’s not a fetish or anything weird like that. I just prefer a woman who is already established, who will provide, who shares my values, and who is mature.
I don’t do any drugs (no marijuana), none of that garbage. I have never done any of it. I drink alcohol (but never to excess, never get drunk). I don’t have tattoos or piercings, I don’t watch pornography, and I want a wife who does the same.
My ideal wife is someone like Alice Weidel (the leader of Germany’s conservative AfD party). She is tall, fit, and attractive, with no tattoos or piercings. She wears elegant, tailored suits and is a traditionalist. She provides for her wife. She’s hyper-intelligent with a doctorate in economics, is a high-level politician, doesn’t participate in or promote degeneracy, believes and promotes traditionalism, etc. Unfortunately, she is already married, but this is the exact archetype of a woman I want to spend my life with.
My Dating Experiences
I dated a liberal woman once. It was the worst experience of my life. I decided that I would simply not talk about politics so we could put our political views aside and just build a human connection. But I have since realized that I am unable to date liberal women. I don’t mind if my girlfriend or wife and I have some different views, but she must be conservative because I realized that politics equals values.
This woman treated me horribly. I never once discussed politics, but she constantly berated and bullied me for choosing to dress modestly. She’d tell me to burn my clothes, and she’d constantly push me towards degeneracy. She would mock and bully me for the fact that I don’t do drugs and don’t get drunk. I’m Native American, and she’d tell me to cut my very long hair short (which I found to be very disrespectful). She’d tell me to get piercings and tattoos. She’d bully me for not being promiscuous and for believing that sex is sacred and should be saved for either the right person who is deeply in love with you or marriage. She once said to me, “I believe women should do whatever the fuck they want,” but she was a massive hypocrite who was extremely offended by my lifestyle (me doing what I want). She refused to commit. She was a degenerate, dumpster fire of an individual. I realized that this wasn’t one bad apple. This is genuinely how the vast majority of leftists conduct themselves. I had other encounters (dates) with liberals, and they all acted exactly like this. I’m sure there are some exceptions, but this is genuinely how leftists behave, and I can’t be with someone like that. Our politics have to align. Also, I wouldn’t be caught dead at a pride parade. I don’t need to parade around telling everyone who I want to sleep with. That’s simply creepy and weird. I don’t need a special flag. I feel very represented by the American flag.
Where I’m At Now
With all of this, I realize the chances of finding a wife are very low. I have only met dates on apps and am never doing that again. I don’t know where to meet the woman that I want to be with. I even thought about joining the Log Cabin Republicans, but at least in my area it seems to be made up of only or a large majority of gay men, so I’m really at a loss. Should I just accept that I most likely will not be a wife and mother, or should I be looking somewhere specific? And I have been praying about finding a wife.
Thank you for reading.