Fractal Self
My name is Arcoiris, but I go by Arco everywhere. This self portrait like many others i do I started with a hand-drawn sketch on canvas, painted it on TikTok Live, I’d do it for an hour here and there chat, catch up with friends while getting into the swing of things which I can admit I had been a little nervous about as when people watch me paint in person I hyper analyze myself and struggle to make progress, i found out that was not the case on TikTok lol, and brought it to life with Sharpies and gel pens all while chatting. I then went over it with acrylic paint, playing music.
https://reddit.com/link/1r41afe/video/y1y7hzajtbjg1/player
Under normal lighting, the colors still draw your attention, but under black light, they transform, demanding more. The neon colors leap off the canvas, emphasizing different aspects of the artwork.
I focused on black-light-reactive details, accentuating the green and blue tones in the torn night-sky elements. In contrast, I applied pastel shades to the skin and sunset areas, then turned off the lights as I, along with everyone else, reacted with joy, watching the colors dance in the color-changing light I had left on to see how each color reacted. The eyes are the most striking. With the lights completely off, only the glow paint remains, lending an ethereal focus to the face.
The demand for my work inspired me to experiment digitally, and I played with my image, inverting it and laying it over itself until I was satisfied with my new creation.
resulting in canvas prints. Still, I was not comfortable selling them as they were, because the prints did not glow as my original piece did, and did not react as dramatically to color-changing lights. To make each piece personal, I revisited the prints, layered black-light and glow paint, and redefined areas with a Sharpie. This way, every piece stayed true to my vision while offering something uniquely handcrafted. I also added shards of glass, mirrors, and glitter.
The back of each holds this poem
“Beneath the moon’s cool silken glow, they lie,
The mirrors gleam, catching the sky.
A polished blade, a guardian’s guise,
Both truth and trick within their ties.
A mirror raised, a weapon fierce,
A gaze reflected, a soul it pierces.
Shattering shadows with a silver spark,
A shield to fend the deepest dark.
For every curse that dares to linger,
The mirror dances, a quicksilver singer.
Echoes of spells it turns to naught,
Each venomous word unmade, unwrought.
Yet care beware the mirror’s might,
Its blade cuts both in dark and light.
Protector, avenger, a sorcerer’s snare,
It sees all truths, both foul and fair.
In the realm of glass, where echoes reign,
A fragile beauty masks the pain.
But in its glow, both pure and dire,
Lies the strength to shield and fire to inspire.”
Under the letters of the poem, only visible in the dark, lay the scales of justice. (I definitely could have done better, but I was going in blind on two fronts in that moment. I was out of contact lenses and broke my glasses. I was also painting it in the light, not in the dark, like a goose. Oh well.)
Though yes, part of my sense of justice comes from my autism, that is not the sole reason I seek it so often. My father kidnapped my mother when she was 16 years old. I used to hear stories about how kind she was. I never met the girl they described. I met the beaten-down woman who survived a monster.
For her to cope with her own abuse, she abused my siblings and me at any given opportunity. My father was a psychopath; she may as well have become a sociopath. I have dissociative identity disorder. and CPSD Self-portraits began as a therapeutic exercise and have evolved. Have wondered what it would be like to go to art school… then I look at the economy and chuckle.
Toodaloo