Crossroads
6 months I have told my partner she needs to get help, 6 months I told her the yelling and way she speaks to me needs to stop otherwise we will not last. Took me to breaking point of going on a holiday where she had a episode at one stage and locked herself in the hotel room not letting me in then I tried to break up with her, and there was screaming yelling crying physically not letting me leave. Second time right before the end of the holiday she is screaming at me middle of the streets, finally we went back to the hotel room and I lost my cool. Said a bunch of things I shouldn’t have, the next morning we are talking about the night before and apologising and she tells me she was recording me the whole time. I couldn’t believe it, all the episodes she has had and how patient I’ve been for 6 months and calmly and politely I’ve asked her to get help, I admit I shouldn’t have snapped but when you feel like your talking to a manipulative child for so long it’s hard not to. I broke up with her on the spot and said if I become that bad of a person when I’m with you it’s clear this isn’t gonna work, she did the same shit as always, apologising and begging crying ect. I agreed after a few hours just to keep her quiet. I said she has till the end of this month to get help otherwise we are 100% done, but honestly, after having to deal with this for so long and communicating and not getting anywhere, I feel like I have lost feelings, it sucks so bad how 1/2 or 2/3 of the month someone can be your best friend and then the rest it’s so painful. I am wondering if she does get help if it’s too late now, can I re gain the feelings I think I have lost? I find myself constantly exhausted and depressed since my return 3 weeks ago, having to constantly again and again 30+ times a night give someone reassurance can become so exhausting. She still snaps but not nearly as bad and when I pull her up usually stops. She has gone to a doctor will start taking primrose oil and if that doesn’t work anti depressants, and is going back to see her psychologist who helped immensely prior to 6 months ago. But I seriously don’t even know if I love this woman anymore, or if I’m just holding on bc she’s my best friend. Wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar and if change actually happen and you stayed, did the spark come back? Or have I been pushed to my limits?
It’s nice to have a place to vent and I know people are feeling and going through similar situations