I don’t want to care for my nan anymore
Hi . A little back story : I moved over to a different country to live with my grandmother a few years ago after I turned 18. She was in the days of ‘Oh she’s just a bit forgetful’ back then. Three years later she’s wearing diapers and doesn’t remember who I am, her only grand daughter.
I live here alone with her and my dog, my mother lives abroad and comes over occasionally to help out (could be for two weeks in a month and then a break of a month or every weekend for a month it depends). Last September I agreed to give up hours at my job and care for her on the weekends since we had a weekday carer coming in.
Silly me thought this would mean I would have more free time to go out and not be trapped in my menial college weekend job- I was wrong.
I have to clean up her defecation, feed into her delusions to get her into bed or anywhere for that matter, shop for the house, manage her money and medication and also try and be a normal 21 year old. I used to be a party animal, as a 21 year old should be, but now I can’t be that person anymore because she could wander during the night or she might refuse to go to bed it’s exhausting.
My mother is a bit disillusioned as well- she’s convinced my nan is a blessing and that she could be way worse and blah blah and that makes me feel guilty for struggling with this.
She’s hard . It doesn’t matter that she’s not violent- she’s anxious and defensive and sometimes rude.
I don’t know what to do. If I decide I’m not doing this anymore my mother will have to quit her job to come and care for her I am the one eveeyone is relying on but I can’t do it anymore. I want to be a normal 21 year old.
Any advice ?