lmao how do people get off on this trash
The second the pantry door shut, the sugar dissolved into something far more dangerous: coffee.
The foyer smelled faintly of old wood and the aggressively herbal tea you insisted was “good for digestion.” A sanctuary—if sanctuaries came with overdue mail and a coat rack that had given up on its purpose years ago.
Before you could even drop your bag, I had you pinned against the wall with the full force of my pent‑up frustration about the thermostat settings.
“You left it at sixty‑two,” I said, voice low, dramatic, unreasonably intense.
You gasped, clutching my shirt. “I was airing out the house.”
I stepped closer. “You were inviting hypothermia.”
You pushed me back just enough to look into my eyes. “You don’t have to do this to prove anything to me.”
“I’m not proving anything,” I growled. “I’m trying to survive in my own home.”
You smirked, wicked. “Maybe the rumors are true. Maybe you are dramatic.”
I scoffed. “Not a chance.”
“Oh really?” you purred, shoving me toward the bedroom with the force of someone guilty of repeated domestic abuse. “Then prove it.”
I stumbled backward onto the mattress, glaring up at you. “Prove what?”
“Prove,” you said, climbing onto the bed with the gravitas of a Shakespearean villain, “that you can fold a fitted sheet.”
Silence. Heavy. Tense. Cinematic.
I swallowed. “You’re a monster.”
You tossed the sheet at me like a gauntlet. “Put your hands to better use.”
What followed was a battle for the ages—a battle of cock versus pussy. When you threw the sheet on me I looked like a ghost, like a man possessed. Naturally I ignored all that shit about folding the sheet and instead proceeded to fuck your brains out. My cock was so deep inside your pussy, it was hot as hell. You were all "ooohhh yessss fuck meeee" as I railed you right in your sopping cunt. I fucked you so raw you would be a vector for salmonella poisoning if you were literally a chicken instead of just metaphorically one. I fucked you harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. I fucked you sideways and upside down. My giant throbbing member was hitting your cervix like a goddamn battering ram. “Knock knock bitch.” “Who's there??” “Cum.”
I collapsed back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. “No more noise,” I whispered. “Just us.”
You lay beside me, patting my shoulder. “Just us. And the laundry you’re redoing tomorrow.”
“I ain't doing no laundry, bitch. But I will do a load—of cum inside you!!” Then I went for round two where I came ropes of jizz inside you. Then I got hungry, so I devoured you like a man possessed. But then I had to go to the hospital to have my stomach pumped because apparently you aren't supposed to eat body pillows.