u/Useful_Management_96

I am very curious about those parents who, for various reasons, need to move frequently from one country to another. Do you choose to conceal or question your own parenting styles in order to integrate locally or meet local parenting expectations? In the process of integration, do you gradually lose sight of your own cultural identity (such as values, language, way of thinking, etc.)? How do you cope with this?

Sharing an example: I have a Austrian-Portuguese friend who moves countries intermittently: She lived in Austria at 21; lived in Romania with her husband from ages 22 to 31 (where her child was born); moved to Australia with her husband and child from ages 31 to 40; and at age 41, the family moved to Germany for a year. They plan to move back to Romania within the next five years.

Her state of mind is that every time she arrives in a new country, she feels quite confused because she isn't clear on the local parenting expectations. Consequently, she reflects more on herself and compares her methods with the local parenting style. To help her child with disability integrate better, she chose to speak only English at home; however, she is now gradually realizing the downsides of the child’s limited exposure to Portuguese culture...

Even though she has been in Australia for nine years and is very satisfied with the environment, education, and medical care, she still feels a lack of belonging compared to her home country. Nevertheless, she tries her best to create opportunities for her child to connect with her Portuguese cultural identity, such as cooking Portuguese food, taking them to churches, doing cultural dances at home, and so on.

The Question: For parents who have had similar experiences of frequent transnational living, what do you think of your own method of integration? How do you find the balance between integrating into the local culture and maintaining a connection with your own culture?

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u/Useful_Management_96 — 7 days ago

Some background information - I am a Chinese expat living in Australia. I have been unemployed for a few months. Sometimes I stay at home exploring my interests, and sometimes I will be out and about doing things with people.

My mother-in-law is a caucasian, and she has been very concerned of me staying at home - She would never forget to tell my husband that I should go out and meet people when she calls up. I think it is partly because of her projection of fear of being physically lonely at home, partly because of the cultural differences in perceiving connection between the East and the West. Coming from the East, I think I still deeply connect to the cosmos even I am physically alone, and I can feel staying at home and stay away from the noises and distraction is a good way for me to cultivate myself. In another word, I am alone, but I am connected to myself and the universe beyond me.

I am curious to know if you think there are cultural differences in seeing connection?

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u/Useful_Management_96 — 10 days ago