u/Useful_Highlight2593

I’m 30 years old. Recently went to the hospital because I was depressed and suicidal. I gave up caffeine 2 days before I finally said to my dad I need to get help. I went in a total mess. Not looking anyone in the eye. Spent the first few days eating and sleeping avoiding everyone basically. I felt like a troll of a human being or something. I got put on a med. I have real issues so the depression lingered. Eventually I was just at my worst in the morning but then I was pretty social and like my old self the rest of the day sorta. I met some people, including a girl. We bonded. Eventually we both got out even though I still felt like shit I was better off. I committed to working. Grinding at school and getting my life in order focusing on priorities. The girl reached out but she had problems I didn’t know about. Over the past 2 weeks it’s taken a lot of brain power. To talk to her, we had to make money somehow, I did my school work, etc. I don’t miss caffeine. I won’t even drink decaf. I don’t wanna risk being dumb and wasting time. I know if I drank caffeine those old feelings would crop up. The anxiety, the negativity, the time wasting. I don’t want it anymore. I can articulate shit so clearly now. I can make a complicated relationship work, I can explain things and stuff and articulate emotions. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows some mornings I’m half asleep but not like I used to be. By 10 AM or so I’m good. I could exercise, I eat properly, etc. caffeine is just a silly way to waste ur time. Get hyped up to be anxious and feel the same way etc. and u suffer for it. Maybe not everything I said made 100% sense right now but I’m not going back. Maybe I’ll drink decaf a few times but if I ever drink caffeine again I’m not making it a habit. Once in a blue moon type thing. Literally heard a guy at the barber shop today say he drinks zero caffeine. And I thought same. U don’t need it. 2 weeks off it and I’m fine. The first few days feel like heroin withdrawal. U can barely stand up. But push through like I did and you get your mind back.

This is just a vent. I’m 30 years old and my c*ck feels like desensitized skin. Literally like less sensitive than any other part of my body. It’s been this way for months. Seen a doctor about it. He didn’t do shit. I guess I could try harder and commit to pelvic floor PT or see a different doctor or all that BS. This is just a headache to deal with. It feels futile honestly. I used to waste so much time looking for an answer. It’s all because I did shit to my dick I shouldn’t have when I was younger I’m certain of it. Almost a decade later and now it’s like this. Makes me feel old. Makes me feel f*cking old at 30. Literally dudes in their sixties still have sex and here I am needing a pill and exercise and all this other shit just so I can screw and not even come. It’s BS. I’m homicidal toward doctors. I don’t care, I’ll say it. Screw em. I paid good money for them to do jack shit for me. They should have something for this. It’s f*cking 2026. How in the hell is this just a problem I have to live with? The Kardashians can look 20 forever but I can’t have a working cock anymore? FML dude. FML. I’m hoping shockwave therapy actually works even though doctors don’t really offer it. They should. If it F’ing exists, prescribe it for me or something. Don’t just offer me Trimix or some shit that doesn’t solve the problem. I want my sensitivity back. These doctors deserve to rot in hell for being so useless. We should raise awareness for Hard Flaccid. I used to exercise like a mad man just to get my dick to work. I’ll run a marathon just to get a dr. to pay attention to it I don’t care. God I’m so angry. It’s so unfair. I’m so jaded about life these days. Everyone is so blissfully ignorant of the gift they have just to be able to feel pleasure. There’s probably some guy jerking off to porn right now for the tenth time today like he’s taking a shit. No idea that I would crawl through broken glass just to have a working dick again, to feel human, to have peace of mind, to use it for actual love. Dammit. Is anyone else this angry? I’m seriously fed up. I’m seeing my dr. this week for a follow up. A follow up 3 months since the last appointment where he did nothing, gee thanks doc. I seriously might spit in his dumb face before I leave. If anyone deserves it it’s one of these doofuses. Screw em all man. We should do something. Like Fight Club, blow it all up lol. I’m semi joking. God this is rambling. F it, I’m out! Just wanted to speak my mind about this terrible shit.

Like Alcoholics Anonymous but for guys with broke dicks. Seriously, call me jaded but screw alcoholics and drug addicts. This shit is hard to live with. An addiction is a chemical imbalance you can correct. This shit I got now might be a life sentence. 30 years old and my dick feels like rubber. I’m not all doom though. I got a gf and I can get aroused and it works. Not the same as it used to be but it’s something. But just living with this crap everyday is hard. It never gets better. Always desensitized. Even hurts a little sometimes. I’m not even posting this for advice really I’m just saying we need to support one another sometimes for real cause this shit is hard to live with and no one else really gets it. There’s a lot of depression and pain in the world but this is its own kind. Stay strong brothers. Do what u can. Don’t dwell on the past. Take care of urself. Lately I’ve just been keeping hella busy cause idle time can lead to rumination. Deal with the psychological side as much as u can. It sucks though. This shit has been nagging me all day. Just this like heavy unliftable depression feeling. Idk I don’t like to talk about this shit much. But just know you’re not alone in ur suffering. I used to truly feel that way like no one not even people in this community understood how I felt. But now I feel more connected to people since meeting my gf and stuff. U gotta stay human. Get out of ur head and be as normal as u can. Hope that makes sense. If I can learn to live a better life with this shit so can u. I was doing really bad earlier this year. Your brain and how u feel can change. Obviously this post is more directed at the psychological side of things. Anyway sorry it’s long and rambling. If u wanna vent in the comments about ur own struggles and how u feel about this shit go ahead. We all deserve to be seen and heard or whatever. Shit is lowkey traumatic to live with, having a messed up body. Sheesh. Imagine a kid or something going to school with an embarrassing problem. That’s basically what we have to live with everyday. This awkward embarrassing uncomfortable situation but all we can do is “man up” This shit is rambling I’ll wrap it up. Goodnight gents. If you’re reading this you’re a tough SOB.

Took a tiny bit of cialis earlier cause my dick felt like rubber couldn’t get hard if I tried it even hurt a bit. Drank some beet juice. Worked out hella hard. Girl I met recently came over. We’ve had sex before same thing but this time I got a good erection. I lied down next to her and unexpectedly my dick was just like “it’s go time.” We got to it, she was in the mood. She knows I have a problem she doesn’t know much about it. I’m 30 and depressed so I blame it on that. 30ish minutes of sex got about 50% there but never came. A couple years ago I would bust with a girl in like 15 minutes. My gf got hers but she was unhappy I didn’t get there. I convinced it wasn’t her fault but girls feel ashamed about that sort of stuff. It’s ridiculous because she’s super hot lol. Idk what I’m gonna do about to hit another workout before bed. It definitely helps. I’m getting in good shape. The other stuff helps too but idk if the cumming is gonna happen. I’m seeing a urologist in a week for a follow up. We literally discussed every option last time I saw him. He prescribed Eroxon which did nothing for me. The pills help the beet juice helps exercise helps. I just feel like my dick is semi broke and idk what to do. Without this problem my life would be vastly better. My gf and I have a good relationship tho. It isn’t 100% sexual. But this is just a problem I can’t get past that weighs on me. I’m 30. No one else has these problems. I’m a warrior I’m gonna fight on but is it ever gonna get better? Is there a way back from this somehow or is it all downhill from here? Penises just have a mind of their own I swear man. Anyway what should I say to the urologist? What can I do that I’m not doing already. Probably nothin. I’m a smart guy I doubt I’ve missed anything. Any advice?

(It’s funny cause it feels like a weird superpower having this problem. Having a regular dick can mess up your life too. But for different reasons. lol…)

Adios

Get out of the spiral and just read this crap for a second, it might benefit you.

Mental health: get on a pill of some kind if your mental health sucks. If you’re depressed, anxious, at the end of your rope, stop toughing it out and get help.

Caffeine: me personally, I’ve been off caffeine for 2 weeks and I’m functioning fine. Don’t miss the stuff and the anxiety it brought me.

General: social media, other forms of media, can be toxic. I’m basically off all social media except this. I’ve even considered getting a dumb phone. Be realistic is the stuff you consume regularly on your phone or whatever good for you? Does it serve your life. Or does it just irk you like it does me.

Anyway,

Exercise: consistency is king. Do a 15 second plank consistently for a while and you’ll be doing minutes in no time. Hit every muscle group. Push ups. Incline/decline Tricep dips. Body weight squats. Every muscle group get the blood flowing all over. Run. Do a push up. Do a jumping jack (or several) push yourself. I think planks and training legs but also chest to build muscle and arms is important. Do a glute bridge. Tone your entire body, you can do it. Rest and repeat and fuel your body. A hearty breakfast, protein and carbs for lunch and dinner. A real diet with real food. Structure to your diet. Eat like a man to be a man lol.

Viagra: take it when you need it. That’s what I do. When I’m around woman in daily life talking to them interacting with them maybe flirting a bit, things work well enough for me. I’ve only used Viagra once recently and that was to have actual sex, I’ll get to that.

Shower: hot shower or bath. Doesn’t have to be long but I literally had pain the other day and I took a shower and the pain was better. Blood flow is good. You don’t need a pill necessarily to keep blood flowing daily, at least I don’t. That’s my take. Just shower you filthy animal.

Sleep: the medication i take helps with sleep and has some effect on depression symptoms. I’m bipolar so a doctor won’t put me on a straight up antidepressant. Since being on this medicine I suddenly dream every night, a lot and get nocturnal erections every night. My dick is pretty dead during the day though usually. Also this pill along with lifestyle changes has put me in a generally better mood.

Also: if you’re not in pain, if you’re like me and just have reduced sensitivity and the dreaded “rubbery” texture. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Yes it sucks. Yes you’re not “ready for action” I’ve been around other men when I had this problem. I can tell they don’t suffer from this. The way they move, etc. it’s obvious to me. But I’ve allowed myself to have this problem. Which brings me to my next part.

I met a girl: she likes me. It helps that I’m tall and attractive but I can also make her laugh. I think of witty things. I use my depression to find the humor in life. Yes I get down on myself. Sometimes she’s literally right next to me and in my head I’m thinking “god damn what is wrong with me” but on some level I know how to deal with this problem differently. I embrace how it’s changed my personality. How I think now because people like this girl like me for me. AND foreplay helps. Touching, being intimate. It’s weird what will turn me on. Touching her hand, I checked her for scoliosis and got half hard. But when we made out, nothing happened. My dick was not cooperating. I calmly told her I have a problem I said it’s cause I’m older and depressed I popped a Viagra and snuck a workout in when she was busy later that evening. It was the workout that made the difference. It kicked the Viagra into high gear and I was hard when we tried again. Sex felt good and I was jumping for joy when she left, literally.

I hope this advice helps you. I felt hopeless. A rubbery penis that basically never gets hard would scare the shit out of ANY man. But I’m a survivor of this shit. And I take it one day at a time man. Mental health matters. Exercise, shower, Viagra, and don’t give up until you’ve actually tried it. And please don’t DOOM. It just might work.

Also the doctor put me on 5,000 IU vit D in the mornings. I was deficient. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Peace, hombres. I’m going back to the real world. Out of my head. It ain’t perfect and god damn do I wish I could just be some fat lazy blissfully ignorant SOB without these problems but hey you gotta take the path that’s laid out for you. You might just learn to like it.

Also I should add, porn: I don’t use porn anymore. I used it a little bit just to feel something cause nothing was happening but long term I do not recommend it. When I’m around woman on the daily with a healthy lifestyle my imagination works just fine. Also just fap less. 2/3 times a week idk. Maybe doing that long term will retrain your body and brain. I’m still early in the process though.

Peace!