u/UpstairsInspection11

For context I am 18[F] and so is my bf 18[M]. We have been dating for a little over 1.5 years and honestly atp i dont know what to do. I really like him sure,but things havent been great bw us at all.

A few months into our relationship he got caught at home (really strict parents) they took away his phone for a long time and we would rarely communicate, he would text me from friends' phone or he would sneak his parents phone and try to text. The whole getting caught fiasco has happened several times and as a result he was grounded a lot of times, we couldnt meet or text. These incidents were still fine but towards the beginning of this year his parents started monitoring him even more, they took his phone, his fathers spare phone, his laptop everything. He couldnt even sneak them out so we would text once a day and ofc he never stuck around his msg would be "hey im studying i love u eat your meals" and ofc i would reply within a few mins and he would only see this when he came online the next day so send the exact same msg. It was really hard for the both of us especially for me i would not handle waiting it used to drive me CRAZY.

We had a fight and he said things would get better soon, cut to march-april this is the time where we go off to universities so we are busy preparing for the uni exams. He got his phone back and for a while things were fine, and then he said he couldnt come out to meet me i was like okay thats fine atleast we can video chat everyday and that happened for a few days and out of nowhere he tells me his parents told him he cannot stay up late anymore and took his laptop and phone during the night so ofc no vc or texts. Oh and did i mention he can only call me when he is outside not at home that is also fine.
No we had planned a few dates he was supposed to come to the public library and we could sneak off from there and atleat 8 out of 10 times he couldnt make it. Either his mother didnt allow him to go to the library or he had to go out with them or he was travelling or he had to spend time with his family.

I put up with this for a whole year, on april 12th 2026 we had planned a cute date and we planned this towards the end of march so like 2-3 weeks ago and today he tells me he cannot make it cause he has to travel with his family. But i cannot do this anymore i literally cannot expect anything from him we will start our long distance relationship in a few months so I wanted to spend as much time together as possible and ofc we cant make it ofc he cannot call me and did i mention his habit of disappearing for hours together and i dont mean 2-3 hours, one day he disappeared for 7 hours in the evening. When i asked him about it he said he was cooking and eating and was spending time with family downstairs, mind you he was away from 7pm to 2am if this was during the day i would have understood.
I cannot do this anymore i cannot wait around i cannot expect anything from him it never happens and i end up getting hurt. But i really dont have the courage to leave him i will be terribly lonely, this isnt about love he loves me and i love him. I really dont wanna disrespect his parents but seriously ive had enough he is freaking 18!!! not their 5 year old child anymore and even he doesnt dare argue with them

I have tried breaking up several times and each time he comes begging me not to go, i dont wanna leave him not because i dont love him but because he has virtually no freedom and for how long can i be an understanding gf. Do i have basic needs and expectations from a guy i love IT HAS BEEN 1.5 YEARS not a few months

i dont know what to do pls help me
I m sorry if this was too long