So I did a dna test through ancestry years ago just out of curiosity. I really was more looking for my origins (like what percents I am made of) and not necessarily my matches. But I started looking at my matches once it came back and didn’t notice any of my ‘father’s’ family surnames in those matches. My ‘paternal grandmother’ doesn’t know who her father is so I really chalked a lot of the matches I had that I didn’t recognize as possibilities through that relation. I kind of left it alone for awhile.
I recently came back to it and finally messaged my closest cousin/grandaunt match to see how we were related. To my surprise, she told me her family’s surnames to see if I recognized any. Well I did. One of them was my ‘half’ sister’s family’s. I found that odd but talked myself down about all the possibilities. I knew my sister had done 23&me and so did my ‘paternal aunt’ so I was like you know what, I’m going to do that and see what comes up. Well I got the results. My sister comes up with being listed as my full sister because of how much DNA we share. My ‘paternal aunt’ does not show up. Actually, nobody from my ‘father’s’ side comes up there either. A lot more people from my ‘half sisters’ family shows up on there as well. I have another half sister who I asked to take the dna test for 23&me to see what comes up as well and she comes up as my half sister, with no where near the amount of dna I share with my evidently now full sister.
I matched with my mother on both sites, so it would appear me and my now full sister share the same father as well. I’m 30 years old and feeling sick to my stomach. I don’t know how to tell my sister that we share the same dad especially since she has thought for 35 years she was his only child.
I don’t want to tell the father who I’ve always thought was my father this information but I do want to contact my bio dad to find out information. I’ve never been close to my father but I have been close with the rest of the family and I do think this will destroy them.
I have asked my mother how this could have happened and why she never told me. Her story is that she didn’t know and she never slept with her first husband (bio dad) while she was married to my ‘father’ but she has a past of cheating and being untruthful so this is hard to believe.
How do I tell my sister? How do I get the truth out of my mother? How do I feel not guilty for not wanting to tell the family I’ve grown up with my whole life this?