u/Traditional_Way_4856

Hi everyone, I had Akathisia two times once in 2013 and then 2023 and the second time I nearly ended my life. I come here to this page to support others best I can because it is the worst experience anyone can live through, truly.

I had an idea and wanted to see if others would be interested. I believe in the power of prayer/love/positive intentions—what if we started a weekly meeting to send positive intentions and love to those that need it in this forum.

We could have a sign up list of people needing to receive and those of us who can offer it.

We meet on zoom maybe? cameras on or off and then come into heart coherence and go through the names—the person can be present on the call or not—and we bring love into our hearts and send them healing both individually and as a group?

Curious people’s thoughts. Feel free to DM me

My cat had been not feeling well for a bit, and I took her into a first bet she had lost weight. We did bloodwork. She had diarrhea too, and it looked like it was either IBS or at worst lymphoma cancer. I had a gut gut she had cancer.

My cat improved a little bit on steroids, but was still having diarrhea and low energy.

The second vet appointment with a new vet confirmed that she had lost a little more weight and then she did an ultrasound and found tumors in her belly as I suspected and I was devastated.

It went from not if to when to put her down, and I decided to put her down that day instead of doing an at home.

2hr process:

The vet gave her the first shot which she growled at because of the pain from ketamine and she started to act confused and uncomfortable, and tried to get down off the table. The vet said she’d come back and check on us in five minutes, and my cat was still very much awake and active. She came back 20 minutes later and my cat was still not sedated so she gave her another half dose without the ketamine, another 20 minutes and my cat was still not sedated but was now licking her lips and pupils big.

The vet was consulting with other vets about what was going on, and the tech came in and said she was going to give my cat the dog dose for sedation which felt concerning and I was holding my cat. They gave her that and about 10 to 15 minutes into it my cat started to go limp and she released urine and some poop on me on my arm as I was holding her which I didn’t expect and I was very shocked. She was still very much alive.

I was sobbing and telling her how much I love her. I’ll never forget the feeling of her limp body in my arms. I felt helpless.

The vet came in and confirmed that she was now sedated enough to give the euthanasia to she did it in her stomach and again my cat did not die after 15 minutes so she took her to put an IV catheter in came back and did that with me present, and my cat passed away in five minutes. The whole thing took two hours.

Is this normal? It sounded like it isn’t. It didn’t feel normal.

I started to regret doing it, wondering if I had made the wrong choice with my cat fighting and not ready

The vet said it was because she was more sick than we realized, and the meds were taking longer to move through her body. Is that true?

Hi all, I’ve been going through major letting go and big trauma healing as I practice coherence.

I’ve been letting go of a lot and noticing I’m not interested in or a match for a lot of previous relationships or things and activities. I’ve had premonitions of what can and can’t come with me into my new life and identity—and I had a gut hit that my beloved cat couldn’t come either. This was in December.

I was so upset because I love her so much. A few months later she was acting sick. I took her to the vet and her blood work showed issues either IBS or possibly at worse gut cancer lymphoma. I immediately knew it was serious but the vet said it’s prob not let’s treat it this way first—long story short I got a new vet and first appointment she found massive tumors and it was clear it was a matter of when not if for her life.

I ended up putting her down that day—it was the hardest decision of my life. It took two hours instead of the 20 minutes they said it would take and multiple extra shots to put her down. It was so intense holding her and sobbing for two hours as she was half in and out. Doctors said it’s because she was that sick. Her body wasn’t absorbing things.

The slow absorption made me question myself—had I done the right thing? Was she fighting it and not ready to go? Was I holding a limiting belief that she couldn’t come with me?

I have this guilt that I should have tried to heal her with coherence and that I could have—but also conflicted that it feels it was her time to leave.

***Anyone lose lots of people, pets etc as the field shifted to their new identity? I just feel so guilty and terrified but maybe these are the feelings I need to release now for the next shift? ***

Also there were synchronicities—the vet room we were in was dedicated to Finnigan—the name is the same name of a young man who died in a kayak accident a few years ago from a family I loved deeply. And the day of the appointment and when I put her down of was 4/24—my grandfathers birthday (the main abuser in my lineage) and the same day my mother put down our dog last year.