u/TightMuggleClothing

I’ve had cancer for a week and I could go the rest do my life without hearing the words “at least” one more time 😂 “At least you caught it early” okay Im not fully sure I did, all the testing isn’t back. I just know for sure it’s cancer. “At least it’s not xyz! At least you know now!” Etc etc etc.

I’m like I JUST got my diagnosis, can it not just suck to have cancer for five minutes without needing to be reminded it could be worse? Without needing to feel immediately grateful for the cancer I have? I get being positive matters but does it need to be every minute? This fucking sucks, I’m not gunna smile through it every second to make others comfortable.

I get my biopsy results in the morning after a full two week wait. 33f with a 3 year old and a 1 year old.

My radiologist was pretty certain it’s cancer. And it feels so weird just…waiting for my life to completely change for the foreseeable future in less than 24hrs. This is likely my last day as a person without cancer.

I know logically that the odds are VERY in my favour that I will make it through this, but it’s hard not to worry that I’ll be the exception to that. The lumps are small and my lymph nodes seem fine as well, all good indicators that I’m going to be just fine. That the realistic “worst case” is surgery and a long road of drugs. But especially with two young children it’s hard not to go to dark places.

It’s just hard knowing tomorrow is the start of something very hard and very scary. I know many people say this waiting period is the worst so I’m holding out hope that once I get the diagnosis and know the way forward the dread will subside a little.

It’s just hard.

UPDATE: It’s cancer. Thankfully it seems very treatable, doesn’t even seem like they’ll even have to take the whole boob. I’ll know more soon once the full pathology is complete. Feeling good getting some confirmation that it’s no where near as bad as I feared.

Like the title says, I’ve been scheduled tomorrow for a surgical consult but my biopsy reports haven’t come back. Is this normal? Should I expect the surgeon to break the news to me tomorrow? Or does this just mean whatever it is needs to come out either way?