How do I find myself again in the midst of chaos?
I’m 24 years old, I got pregnant at 22 and had my baby at 23. The partner I’ve chosen is very broken, as am I. Things have been extremely difficult. My partner has debilitating trauma/mental health issues, it makes it difficult for them to help with the baby or work. We get money in other ways while they get back in the swing of working. We (myself, my partner, our son) live in an upstairs bedroom of a condo, we have a house that had a fire before we were able to get it fixed up. I don’t get time to myself and when I do, I just want to sleep or rot in bed. The room is a mess all the time, and my partner and I are constantly on the verge of breaking down. We both just started meds and therapy after not having either for years.
My day always consists of catering to my son’s needs and making sure his development is on track, trying to eat three meals a day (doesn’t happen), and making sure my partner is doing okay. I’m exhausted mentally because of this. I also struggle with depression and anxiety which are much worse postpartum. I feel extremely guilty when I’m not able to show up for my son the way I want to, same with my partner, but I also cannot take care of myself. Any advice is appreciated, please try to be respectful.