u/ThiccHarambee

So, for anyone who has seen my posts and has talked to me about sin, and how it appears I am judging condemning and hating others and here's what I want to say:

I hear you when others say it sounds like I'm judging, hating, or condemning people. That really concerns me because that's not at all what I'm trying to do, and I don't want to come across that way. Can I share my heart with you?

What I'm doing is trying to plant seeds of hope, the same love and grace that rescued me when I was at my lowest. I know I'm a vile, wretched sinner saved only by Jesus. I wasn't better than anyone else; I was broken, lost in my own darkness, and He met me there with forgiveness I didn't deserve. That's why I want to point people to Him, not because I think I'm superior or hate their lifestyle, but because I've seen how sin destroys from the inside out, and I've experienced the freedom and new life only He gives.

The Bible says our real fight isn't against people ('flesh and blood'), but against spiritual forces that deceive and destroy (Ephesians 6:12). So when I talk to someone stuck in something harmful, I'm not declaring them condemned or looking down on them. I'm saying, 'Hey, I was there too, here's the One who pulled me out and loves you enough to do the same.' It's testimony, not judgment. Like the blind man in John 9 who simply said, 'I was blind, but now I see.' Or the Samaritan woman at the well who told everyone, 'Come see a man who told me everything I ever did.'

Jesus Himself ate with sinners and told them the truth in love. He called sin what it is because it hurts people, but He offered grace, not stones. I'm trying to follow that: speak truth gently, love first, and let the Holy Spirit do the convicting and changing, because only He can.

I know it can feel uncomfortable or sound harsh from the outside, especially if someone's defensive. If I've ever come across as preachy or unloving, please tell me, I'm still growing too, and I want to do this with more humility and kindness. But I can't stop sharing what Jesus has done for me. It's the best news in the world, and withholding it would be like knowing the cure for someone's terminal illness and staying silent.

Will you pray with me about this? That God would give me wisdom in how I share, soften hearts (including mine), and help us see each other clearly?

Thank you for listening and reading this, this is something I felt the need to share as I've had many people come to me and say I'm judging, hating and condemning when that's not my intentions at all.

Hey everyone,

I wanted to share how Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father reached down and saved me when I had nothing left. This is my story, raw, painful, and full of hope.

From the very beginning, God was watching over me. When I was just a baby in my crib during a fierce thunderstorm, my mom overheard me talking to someone. She said the presence in the room felt holy, she believed it was my guardian angel. The very next morning, when she came to get me, I clearly said “thunder, lightning.” No one had ever taught me those words. It was the first sign that Someone was with me even then.

My childhood was marked by constant fear and near-death experiences. I suffered from severe asthma that nearly killed me daily. I would stop breathing, turn blue/purple, and get rushed to the ER over and over. Nights were the worst, I’d wake up unable to speak or breathe and have to violently shake my mom awake so she could set up my breathing machine. I also battled pneumonia repeatedly, spending nights in the hospital as fluid filled my lungs. On top of that, severe anxiety gripped me from an early age (though it wasn’t diagnosed until I was 16).

School only made everything heavier. I was deeply depressed and traumatized. Panic attacks hit so hard that I would scream and fight not to go to school. Once there, I had no friends. I spent every recess and lunch alone in the school office. In third grade, I finally mustered the courage to ask some kids if I could join their game of hide-and-seek. They agreed… but only if I was “it.” I counted to 30 and spent the whole break searching for them, only to realize they had ditched me and run off to play somewhere else. After that, I stopped trying. I felt completely out of place, like no one could possibly want to be friends with someone like me. So I protected my heart by staying alone.

As a teenager, things shifted a little when my sister introduced me to a guy who became my first real friend. He was patient with my quiet, reserved nature and got me out of my shell, playing basketball, hanging out after school. But during that first summer, he peer-pressured me into smoking cannabis. For the first time in my life, I felt “normal.” The anxiety melted away. Later he introduced me to pills like Xanax, and suddenly my worries disappeared. I could talk to strangers. I could function like everyone else. Those substances became part of my life, and on days I couldn’t get them, the old darkness rushed back in even stronger. Depression deepened.

I did find some light when I got my first girlfriend. I fell madly in love with her, and being with her eased my pain. We both grieved together when our mutual friend Zach was tragically killed, hit by a car and run over. I poured everything into supporting her, riding my bike for hours just to be by her side so she wouldn’t feel alone. But a week before our three-year anniversary, she called and told me she was breaking up with me… because she had been seeing another guy the whole time. The betrayal shattered me.

I lost it completely. I attempted suicide multiple times, slitting my wrists and legs, bleeding out on the bathroom floor, overdosing. Every attempt failed, and that only made me hate myself more. I felt like a total failure who couldn’t even end his own life. Nights were spent crying on the floor, begging God to save me or help me. When nothing happened, I grew furious. I cursed at Him. I yelled at Him for letting me suffer through all the pain, fear, and loneliness my entire life.

Then came the night that changed everything.

I was on my bedroom floor, weeping uncontrollably, when my dog Max, my best friend, walked in. He sat right beside me. I held onto him tightly as tears poured out, and he started licking my tears away. In that exact moment, something profound happened. A wave of perfect peace and love washed over me so powerfully that I instantly stopped crying. Words formed clearly in my mind: “It’s okay… it’s all going to be okay.” For the first time in my entire life, I felt true, deep peace.

In that moment, I realized there was someone who needed me, my loyal dog Max. If I succeeded in taking my life, he would lose me. And I knew, without any doubt, that the Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ had just showered me with His incredible love, grace, mercy, and peace. It was so real and overwhelming that it was almost unbelievable. That night, Jesus saved me.

From that day forward, everything began to change. I started eating again. I got out of bed. I found joy in the simplest things, like taking Max for walks. Happiness returned to my life in ways I thought were gone forever. I even started growing cannabis, which brought me a deep sense of peace and purpose that still blesses me today.

I don’t claim to have it all figured out now, but I know this: I was saved by the grace and love of God and Jesus Christ when I had nothing left to give. He met me in my deepest brokenness, using even my dog to show me His presence. If you’re reading this and you’re in that dark place – feeling alone, hopeless, or angry at God, please know that He sees you. He loves you. He can bring peace where there is none.

Jesus saved me. He can save you too.

If this resonates with you, feel free to comment or message me. I’d love to hear your story or pray with you.

God bless you all and thank you for taking the time to listen to my long testimony.

so for those that don't know, Jesus Christ and even the holy Spirit is capable of showing itself to you in your dreams and even visions, sounds crazy but it's true. I witnessed it, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. it was an orb radiating the purest of pure of white that doesn't exist in this world, so pure words cannot even describe it.

Being in its presence was so profound it changed me completely, the feelings I felt in its presence was absolutely astonishing and absolutely amazing. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace, love, compassion, safety, calm, happiness, and more that cannot even be put into words. There's gonna be people who say I'm crazy but I'm not the only one who has also saw and experienced the holy Spirit, I know that for sure as I've heard many stories of similar experiences. Has anyone else seen and experienced the holy Spirit? I would love to hear your thoughts on it and what you felt being in its presence, because for me it was so profound it changed everything, how I look at life and everything else. Ever since I experienced this, it changed me tremendously. I don't like calling it a simple dream because it wasn't a simple dream, it was realer than real life itself, it was something I'll never forget for the rest of my life. I know many have felt the presence of the holy Spirit before, I have too, but this was the first time I was in its presence and got to see it physically.

atheists and non believers will call me crazy or delusional but I know what I saw and I know what I experienced, it was real, beyond real. I have experienced realistic dreams before but this was not one of those, it wasn't a dream, it was physical, real.