u/The_Fullmetal_Titan

I’ve been in a real state of change and reflection in the last year and a half to two years. When I hit my late teens, I could already feel my political opinions swaying away from that of my parents. It happened slowly (and not fast enough imo) but it happened nonetheless and I am ever grateful for the elements in my life that were able to form those aspects of myself. When I hit my 20s it seemed like one thing led to another and my beliefs were challenged HARD, nailing down my political views while also beginning to affect my Christian views for the first time.

My father is VERY fundamentalist and conservative, and he has no idea of really anything that I’ve just mentioned above. I keep it hidden. It’s impossible for me to entertain the thought of having a conversation with him about it because what am I supposed to say? That his son has decided that a majority that he’s heard preached to him for 21 years is no longer what he believes? My dad says he’s fine with open discussion, and on some political issues that might be true. But the second I’d even attempt to criticize his stance on the LGBTQ community or provide a more nuanced take on abortion, he’s surely label me as ungodly and sinful for “questioning the Bible as anything other than wholly accurate fact” (Baptists’ unwillingness to accept historical context as a key factor of the Bible heavily applying here).

I’ll be very up front. I think I still believe in God. I just do not think I’m a Baptist at all and have no intention in living a life of hate in the guise of being a “loving Christian.” But it’s very hard for me to have a walk with God when I’ve been told that objectively more loving and arguably much more accurate forms of Christianity are heretical and “false” for my whole life. My parents are also firm deniers of scientific concepts like evolution, which I hadn’t started to question until recently. They’ve always hated what Charles Darwin wrote (despite the fact that he believed in a creator being always conveniently ignored. Apparently he even originally mentioned this in the closing lines of Origin of a Species before it was removed by editors. WILD).

These are just some of the things that I grapple with, and I fear for a life ahead of me where my actions as an adult are constantly scrutinized by my parents. They believe that grandparents should step in where parents fail to teach their child about correct Christianity which makes me fear the day I might choose to have kids and teach them my beliefs. I’m trying not to grow resentful of God in all of this but it’s so hard. I believe my older brother feels very much the same as I, and I’m finally moving out close to him in August. So I hope to gain some much needed clarity then, but please, if any of you have any advice for me at all on how to deal with this personal turmoil, I’m in desperate need of a friendly word right now.

I’m seeing Wicked on Broadway next month!!!

I’m seeing Wicked on Broadway in next month!!!