Anyone else feel this?
So this is my first post here and I had no idea there was a subreddit for something like this.
I am a 26 year old male who was diagnosed at the age of 2 with ALL which was back in 2002. I went through chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and eventually a bone marrow transplant. In 2007 I was officially put into remission and ever since I've been good. I'm almost 20 years cancer free.
But what this post is about is the feeling of survivors guilt. Yeah I don't know if this is a common thing with cancer patients who survive long term after their treatment. But I've had this feeling for the past 5ish years now. I've always felt like "why did I live and others didn't?" I am grateful to be alive because I have been able to live a decent life making great friends, eating good foods, playing video games, and so much more. But still in the back of my mind something says "you shouldn't be here."
I don't want to sound insensitive because I know there's people here who have lost someone they love because of this stupid god awful disease. But I just feel like I shouldn't be here. I know I should most likely talk to a therapist about this instead of writing a post on Reddit but I just wanted to know if anyone else felt like this.