Dealing with my cat’s (15-ish) GI lymphoma: mourning beforehand
My cat most likely has lymphoma. How can I stop mourning him?
Writing this post as I feel like I have no one I know that shares my love for cats or truly understands the pain I’m feeling.
I won’t go into detail but one of my cats probably has GI lymphoma. We can’t be 100% because he’s FIV positive and has anemia, so they can’t do certain exams to know for sure. All symptoms, ultrasounds and past history point to it.
I am truly struggling. While I do have other cats, I have such a soft spot for my baby. He is the sweetest, most loving, cuddliest cat I know. I rescued him when he was skin and bones (already an adult) and I’ve had him for about 6-7 years. He’s always been such a happy, sweet cat. He doesn’t bite, scratch or even hiss (only when outside cats come near our house).
I think I’ve got more attached to him due to the scares we’ve had over the years: an infection on his tail and episodes of bad anemia in the past. I took care of him to my best ability, loved him, gave him his medicine at the right times, countless vet appointments.
He’s always cuddled me a lot but with this diagnosis he doesn’t seem to want to do it. He still sunbathes, purrs, enjoys being pet and loves being in his little box and making biscuits.
Currently, he’s on pred and other meds to help him with nausea. He doesn’t eat much but still enjoys liquid snacks, chicken, some wet food… He has lost some weight and slowed down.
I am thankful for the 2 months (after a big scare) I’ve had with him. He’s still here but I’m mourning already, knowing I’ll have to let go. It’s messing with my head and I’m already crying while typing this. I know I did well, I know he’s been truly and extremely loved. But I’m still so, so devastated. It’s affecting my performance in university, my personal relationships.
Any tips for me? I’m really struggling.