Just not being able to socialise at a big office (consulting) despite being talkative and approachable
Hey all,
I’ve been struggling with something at work and wanted to see if anyone else relates. Or, even better, has tips in improving?
I’m about a year deep in a big consulting firm, and on paper I feel like I’m doing everything “right” socially. I’m talkative, approachable, easygoing, and I can hold conversations just fine. I’m not shy, I don’t avoid people, and I try to be friendly with everyone I work with. I often have conversations with peers but it never seems to really stick. I don't really make friends or something?
But somehow… I just don’t seem to “click” in the way others do. Especially when it comes to building those closer peer relationships or that subtle networking/sucking-up dynamic that I believe matters a lot. It feels like other people naturally form these tighter circles or alliances, while I’m just kind of… there.
The weird part is I don’t think I come off as awkward or unfriendly. If anything, I wonder if I’m too chill? Like I’m not playing the game enough, not being intentional enough about building relationships, or not showing the kind of enthusiasm/interest that people respond to in this environment.
I guess I’m struggling with that balance between being genuine vs. being strategic socially. I don’t want to be fake, but I also don’t want to be left behind just because I’m not actively “working” the room.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you navigate social dynamics in environments where it feels like there’s an unspoken playbook?
Would appreciate any thoughts.