u/That-Topic-3034

I do plan on calling the nurse line and ask this question, but I’m a bit spiraling right now.

I took a walk for almost 2hrs just 24 hours after my D&E and D&C surgery at 13 weeks, was that a problem?

Would the long walk have caused any damages to my uterus or cervix?
If so, how can I find out whether any damage was done or not?

I’m a bit paranoid because that was the very first surgery I had in my life, but I needed the walk with my mom to chat for emotional support. :(

Hi, I never had problem conceiving at all. However, within in less than a year and a half, I’ve had 5 pregnancy losses in total, including:

2 early chemicals;

1 rare cervical ectopic (no explanation, so conclusion was just bad luck);

1 miscarriage at 7 weeks soon after I saw the heartbeat on ultrasound;

1 TFMR at 13 weeks (NIPT high risk Trisomy 18 and findings in NT scan).

I feel like the only reason we would do IVF is because of PGT-A, mostly based on the most recent TFMR we had, which pointed to chromosomes issues.

Background:

I’m 32F, husband is 30M.

All fertility exams we’ve done showed normal results. We both have normal chromosomes ourselves and no overlapping genetic diseases.

I’d like to hear your experiences with PGT-A! Anybody with similar experiences got help from PGT-A?

Thank you!!

Before this pregnancy, I’ve had multiple unexplained losses. This is the first time we actually have an answer for what’s going on. After getting a high-risk Trisomy 18 result from NIPT and then seeing significant abnormalities on the NT scan, I made the decision to TFMR.

Before the scan, I had told my MFM that I would want CVS or amnio to be 100% certain. But after seeing the findings, and because I have a deep fear of later-term procedures or delivery, I decided it would be better to move forward earlier rather than later.

I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem, but at the same time, I’ve realized I’m actually very resilient when things get hard. Through multiple losses and other life experiences, I keep surprising myself with how strong I can be, even in really painful situations.

This post isn’t just about TFMR, although that’s what triggered everything. I think I just need to get this off my chest and maybe find some comfort.

I just had a huge fight with my dad. We have a long and complicated history. Growing up, I experienced both emotional and physical abuse, almost every day, mostly tied to not meeting his expectations in school (up until college, when I started to fight back physically). Where I grew up, that kind of pressure and behavior wasn’t considered unusual.

After moving to the US, I changed careers and got into a well-known computer science program with no prior experience. I maintained a 4.0 GPA and found a full-time job pretty quickly after working really hard for it. Those experiences made me realize how important it is to see my own worth more fairly, which was something I was never taught to do.

I’ve been in therapy for about a year now, working on anxiety, OCD, and self-esteem. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that I’m not responsible for my parents’ emotions. But unlearning that has been incredibly hard, because I was raised to constantly read the room and act in ways that would satisfy others, especially my dad.

I do know that my dad cares about me, and I also recognize that he has his own trauma and mental health struggles. But his behavior still triggers me deeply.

When I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, the first thing I did was comfort my parents. I told them I was okay and even tried to stay positive about it happening early. The first thing my dad said was, “It’s because you played tennis the other day.” That immediately triggered a fight.

This time, just two days before my surgery, he kept cornering and criticizing me for staying up late, when he knows I have insomnia issue. He wouldn’t drop it and kept saying I wasn’t taking care of myself. It felt like he completely ignored my boundaries, which has always been an issue since I was a kid.

I’ve worked really hard to build a life for myself here in the US. At the same time, my parents rely on me a lot. They say I shouldn’t feel pressured about taking care of them (I'm also the only child), but then they constantly hint at it in conversations, which feels hypocritical. I know this kind of guilt is also very common in my culture, but it still affects me.

In return, to keep things fair, my parents help out with household chores and plan to help with babysitting in the future, so it’s not one-sided, and I do benefit from the arrangement.

What really hurts is that all of this is happening right before my first surgery ever. I can’t really distance myself from them because they live with me, and we spent a lot of money on applying for green cards for my parents. I also do genuinely care about them and worry about them.

Sorry for sharing TMI and if this is not proper for this channel, I just feel really stuck and overwhelmed, and I don’t know what to think or what to do. :(