u/Technical_Lemon8307

A group of instructional aides in special ed classes hired by the school district laughed about me getting assaulted by a highly aggressive 2nd grader in a meeting.

I got intel regarding this from a very kind (and angry) teacher’s aide witnessing that laughing circus about my assault which resulted me in an embarrassing panic attack in front of everyone.

I’ve had a rough year. And last week was my final straw.

Is it bc of hybrid work schedules? Or highway patrol trying to control traffic? More trucks driving through?

Just the title of itself.

Maybe this is a personal question for me to ask bc despite me having gone through so much—esp with mental health conditions, I don’t understand why it’s still hard for people to give others some grace and dignity. Alongside empathy and basic decency.

The world is hard on us. We are hsrd on ohrselves. What’s the point of going out of our way to do the hard thing and be cruel to others?

Having gone through many hardships, even mentally, is not an excuse to treat others like garbage and dispose them.

I’ve been hit on my chest and kicked in the legs before. I’ve gotten my hair pulled but know how to safely get out of it. For the first two months at my new job as a behavioral school aide, I’ve been spat on for the first time. That was nearly drawing the line for me at first but now I know how to avoid it, despite the speed of it happening.

Today, I’ve been kicked in the jaw for the first time bc one of my 1:1 clients refused to do work. My mistake was not having a reinforcer out ready right away but today was so chaotic and high stress level with the rest of his class as his classmates were having high behaviors.

As much as I love working with kids and have so much compassion when it comes to behavioral and mental health, why do I feel like my compassion is dying down when I know these kids are still trying to learn more appropriate behaviors?

I try to compartmentalize my emotions and remember that it’s not about me. It’s about helping them. But I feel abused (for lack of better term) and I feel so guilty for thinking that they don’t care. But I know it’s a million different things like sensory overload, etc

But I feel like a punching bag.

How do you cope and recuperate? Esp arriving home?

Mentally, when push comes to shove, how do you try not to let it get to your head and leave what happened work at work after clocking out?

I was gonna go to the gym today but I am exhausted and spent. I was gonna draw or play with my puppy, but I don’t feel like myself at all. I’m about to be stuck ruminating wondering if I’ll ever be appreciated or if I’m ever doing my job right.