UBC Pottery Club is a closed-door clay cartel and I’m DONE.
Alright, I’m graduating and I need to get this off my chest before I leave this institution: the UBC Pottery Club is either the most exclusive club on campus or a straight-up social experiment designed to break people.
I have applied EVERY. SINGLE. TERM. for FIVE YEARS. (I did co-op I’m not a degenerate)
Five years of “raffles.” Five years of “sorry, you were not selected.” Five years of me sitting there like an absolute clown thinking this is the time my name gets pulled.
This last round? I went feral. I had alarms. I had notifications. I had the page open. I was refreshing like my life depended on it. I HAD GOOGLE FORM AUTOFILL. The form drops at noon and I submit in under 8 seconds. EIGHT. SECONDS. I don’t even respond to texts that fast.
And yet… rejected. Again.
Every single term it’s the same thing: “raffle system” to get in. Sure. Totally random. Definitely not just a secret society where they let in the same 12 people and their roommates every semester.
So let’s stop pretending this is a raffle. There is NO WAY this is random. At this point I’m convinced it’s just a group chat where they go “lol let’s let in Becky again” or “XD let’s let my roommate in!” While the rest of us fight for scraps like it’s the Hunger Games but with clay.
At this point I’m convinced the “raffle” is just someone spinning a wheel that only has their friends’ names on it.
ALSO, serious question; has ANYONE actually met a member of this club? Not “my friend knows a guy,” not “I think my TA mentioned it once.” I mean a real, verified, in-the-flesh pottery club member. Because I haven’t. Not once. In FIVE YEARS. These people are more elusive than a decent matcha on campus.
What are they even doing in there? Throwing pots? Or just gatekeeping the one kiln like it’s a family heirloom?
Meanwhile I’m about to graduate with absolutely zero ceramics experience, zero mugs, and a deeply personal grudge vendetta against a spinning wheel I’ve never even touched.
AMS, please. I am begging. Expand this club. Give them more space, more funding, more wheels, more clay; whatever it takes to end whatever underground monopoly they’ve got going on.
And to the Pottery Club members: blink twice if you’re real. Post a mug. Drop a selfie with a kiln. Anything. I just need proof this isn’t an elaborate scam. (DM me and prove to me it’s real by letting me in for the Summer 😼)