u/Suspicious-Serve8115

I've been on a placement here every other week for two days.

This is my third time.

I've started staying on two days extra just to look around the place.

Started in Woolton today; then up to the Bombed Out Church; then Bold Street; then The Albert Dock.

Ended up seeing a load of live music, and just back at my Air BnB.

And I'm just thinking to myself:

"Meh, maybe I'll just give into the inevitable and sorta like... stop leaving Liverpool. And just kinda stay."

It gets into your skin a bit, doesn't it...??

I don't believe that Ricky Gervais doesn't pay someone to write his film reviews. I think they're professionally done, and he just reads them. They're too good.

I don't believe that Ricky Gervais doesn't pay someone to write his film reviews. I think they're professionally done, and he just reads them. They're too good.

Feels like every breakfast show now is constant features, fake banter and celebrity clips. Sometimes I just want songs, quick news updates and someone who doesn’t sound like they’ve had six coffees. Anyone else gone off breakfast radio a bit lately?

I was a young carer - I think.

My dad had a degenerative body and mind condition which ate away at his mobility and his ability to understand things.

Eventually, he couldn't sit up, stand, walk, or swallow anything at all; he also couldn't speak.

Our house was turned into a 'care home lite', with a lift from the living room to the bedroom, and multiple hoists around the house. The bathroom was transformed into a wet room and we had carers in four times a day and a nurse too.

No one exactly told me "You are now a young carer"; but I often stayed with my dad so that my mum could go to work/go out for a break.

I'd help with tablets where I could, and help with lifting him/sorting out certain things like peg tubes etc.

I was a teenager when he was at the stage of being confused and shouting at me for things that he'd given me permission to do a few minutes before.

I saw him have a couple of psychotic breaks.

Once, I came home from school and he was hiding from a burglar - the house was dark.

I went around and checked all the rooms to show him it was safe to come out.

I often wouldn't tell my mum things because I felt like I should be able to handle it - and I was worried that she wouldn't go to work - I knew we needed the money since he couldn't work any more.

---

Anyway, he died when I was 28.5; and covid happened about 2.5 years after.

My mum has a kind of brain fog/memory loss which might be associated with the grief, or else the sleeping tablets she's on etc.

I'm now 37, and I'm only just starting to feel a really solid sense of where I am in life, what I'd like to do, and who I'd like to be.

I've had a few adventures over the last few years, done some study, and had one or two awful relationships (but they were learning curves).

I feel like I've been catching up from my teenage/twenties years and that I'm only now just starting to feel roughly my sort of age.

Although I'm still not totally established yet - I'm not married, I don't have my own place just yet, and I'm still finishing off some training to get me into the right job.

Does this sound kinda... normal?

I'm just trying to understand my journey a bit better, and separate out what came from my previous experiences and what came from other things (my own poor decisions or whatever).

Y'know - THAT one?