u/Suitable_Bear_5014

After a certain amount of time in life (generally around mid thirties) people tend to start living in auto-pilot mode. Education is over, career is on its way (or you already became a veteran in your line of work), you either are married with children (though a rarity these days, as i am still single) or found someone to be in relationship with, etc.

Then, all becomes a routine. Everyday is the same, yesterday, today, tomorrow, all the same. Wake up, eat something, shower, go to work, count the hours until its over, go back to home, eat, do some stuff such as your hobbies, drink coffee or booze, chat with friends (if you have any) and go to bed. Other day, the same. Same. Same. Until weekend. Hang out with your friends or partner (if any), go to a movie or hang out in a mall or a park, crack a cold one, go back to home and sleep. And.. another week. And then another. Until another holiday comes along. Or until your vacation.

So, basically some semblance of fun or excitement spread between hours and days of boredom and exhaustion. Just like the life itself. Like 5-10% good stuff sprinkled among 90-95% of bad stuff. (If you are an average person with an average wealth and opportunities) You find yourself always waiting for the next break from mediocrity, albeit a short one. One hour break, one day break, weekend break, one week or two week break if you are lucky. And when its all over, the brutal monotone cycle continues.

When you talk about this seemingly obvious (yet elusive to some) fact to other people you know, they generally steer away from discussion or give vague suggestions along the lines of ''find your inner peace, meditate, dabble with spirituality/religion, find new and exciting hobbies, go to the gym, visit new places/countries, change your sector of job, marry and make kids'' and so forth. As if millions of people on earth aren't already doing those/haven't tried those in the past. Sure, existential crises are common, and are normal to have. Just like naturally occuring nightmares. You are bound to come across with one or the other sooner or later in some part of your life. But this feeling is not likely to go away with the passage of time, or whether if i do something with my life.

I'm an atheist, a realist, a nihilist. Some people around me may say i often seem depressed or jaded, or have a cynical understanding of life. Those may feel true to some extent, but i never felt the urge to come up with an excuse/shortcut to battle with these negative feelings such as religion or some weird ideology. I simply do not believe there is a inherent meaning to all of this. I only consider myself an extension of the universe, a tiny bit of piece inside of it at least. A mere stardust flowing in the seemingly infinite space, just happened to be on Earth by perchance. I don't hate that i came to this world, but i am not keen on living a long, boring, mediocre life either. If i hadn't existed in the first place , would it had been better? Maybe. At least i wouldn't have felt the need or urge to ponder regarding these heavy stuff.

So, what do you think? Do you have a more nuanced perspective or do you feel more or less the same?