Mental health and mbc
Ive been living with the unwanted visitor for over 6 years and had a few lines of treatment. Im 57 and before mbc had no medical or mental health history. Usual feelings of up and down due to life, nothing clinical.
Since mbc and moreso in the last 3 years Ive changed so much. Maybe its the fatigue, lack of oestrogen, accelerated mortality. Whats changed?
In winter 2025 I had CBT for burnout and anxiety. My mum had been diagnosed with advanced dementia and I am the only child in the country so left to sort it all out.
Ive stopped being a people pleaser. My MIL and SIL didnt contact me but would send gifts through the post without any thought that I dont want more stuff. Any talk of how I was got quickly shot down and subject closed. I ran out of tolerance and now am v v v low contact..
Ive very few friends now. I got fed up of the breadcrumbs my friends sometimes throw me.
Ive got a fear of joy. I think if I do selfish things and enjoy myself, ill run out of time quicker.
Ive a mild fear of going into my own small yet lovely back garden. I worry that if I start enjoying the garden, ill die quicker..
I massively miss my parents. My mum has dementia and my dad died when I was 31.
I feel disconnected.
Can anyone relate?