"Mental load"
It's a B.S. term used by women who think THEY'RE stressed out, NEVER thinking of anyone but themselves. What do they think their husbands do all day at work?
Play poker? Race go carts? ASK your partner what they do all day at work. You might be surprised to learn you AREN'T the only one dealing with things mentally and emotionally?
You're just the only one making your stress THEIR problem. Talk to your partners, people! Lean on each other, instead of making it a competition about who's dealing with the most.
And I'll tell you something else.. give a man a problem, and most will try to solve it. Tell him HE'S the problem, and he'll solve THAT, too. Just not the way you'd like. Start treating your partner like a PARTNER, instead of the obstacle between you, and your happiness.
It'll pay dividends. Trust me, or don't. But 17 years of marriage doesn't happen without learning how to navigate a few minefields.