Achieving the Singaporean Dream but now what?
Hi everyone , throwaway account for the obvious but I'd love to hear your opinions. Sorry for being all over , I'm doing my best to convey everything.
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My family is from the lower bracket so we never had much since young, the environment itself at the time was also bad due to instances of ab*se from my father. Thus, I was raised by my sibling to break the cycle by getting into uni and doing better ; being the person my parents could never.
I got into poly , did well and managed to secure a spot in business in one of the big 3 unis. I even managed to secure an internship from one of the bigger named companies for my first year, currently I've partially moved out to stay with my girlfriends family for the most part since I don't have a proper room at home. (shared with sister)
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I've reached what I feel is the pinnacle of the Singaporean youth dream , going to the big 3 get a good internship and you're secured for life as they say. But I'm ending Y1 Sem 2 soon and I feel absolutely miserable , I joined business cause it was a general course , one that at least allows me to have a foot in the door for a multitude of industries. Even though the content itself isn't objectively super difficult, I found myself struggling , not with just the modules itself but rather; the internal turmoil of doing something I have no care for. This has led me to procrastinate and avoid the modules I dislike, which in turn got me my first D+ ever for mid terms. Honestly , I'm mainly staying cause of the embarrassment and shame I feel should I drop out. knowing I disappointed my poly teacher and perhaps family and friends who hold me with such positive regard.
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Perhaps I'm just spiraling , but I feel like uni wasn't what I made it out to be. And that chasing something that wasn't mine but that of society has made me miserable. I just want to live a stable , peaceful life with my girlfriend. Just simple everyday , but even $4k jobs need a degree now for fresh grads and the dream seems bleak without a degree. I'm not sure what I should do, my gpa currently is 2.9 and I worry I won't even be able to last till graduation since my motivation is pretty much depleted. And if I get D+ for a few mods it might be the end.
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Perhaps I'm just dulled from the lack of a reason to fight , or I'm just spiraling cause I've always cared about what others think. I'm not sure so , if y'all have any opinions etc please do send away. I'd love to listen and improve where I can. thank you.