For those of you who are fixated on firsts
My wife and I are one of the rare couples on here who lost our virginity to each other. Being a good Christian girl, she had done everything imaginable with other guys that didn't involve penetration. Many people on here obsess about how special that first time is, so I wanted to dive into how that's worked in our relationship.
Was this the best sex we ever had? No, not even close. If you were to ask her, it might be the worst sex she ever had, and that was with me trying to be as gentle as possible and taking a ton of time to prep the battlefield.
Do I reminisce/fantasize about it? Honestly the only time I think about our first time together is when people talk about it on here. Maybe it's because I'm extremely high libido, but I'm much more interested in the next sex we're having than in sex we had decades ago. And if I'm having some solo time, I'm going to choose porn every time over faded memories and thinking about our first time together.
My wife's past happened during a break up we had prior to getting married. A lot of the firsts we shared together she then did with other guys, so this is backwards from how most people experience RJ. You'd think then, based on how most people experience RJ, that I would say well she did this with other guys, but she did it with me first, so our experience was more special. That's not how it's worked.
Lastly, I don't want to gas light anyone. I do remember all our firsts. They are special memories for me. I'm skeptical of people who claim they don't remember them. But again, if I have the choice between thinking about something I did decades ago or doing something fun now, I'm going to choose fun now every time.