Father seriously unwell, how do you cope?
Hi I (23F) have a very unwell father, I live 5 hours away and I find it very hard to visit my parents frequently especially with work (I work in hospitality so you can imagine) my dad had a stroke 2 years ago, he has been very up and down since but never seems to be getting better only worse. I don’t feel ready to lose my dad at all, I know no one is. But I feel too young.
Im just wondering how people deal with these things? I’m really struggling with it and it’s affecting my daily life, I find it extremely hard to just not think about it which for the first year I seemed to manage but as he’s getting worse it’s getting harder to put on a brave face, especially for my mum, she has so much work she has to do being his carer and also looking after a farm by herself. They cannot afford any help from anyone as my parents are very poor. I help them with money as much as I can.
I just wish I could have some advice on how to not think about it, how to not feel guilty, I feel lots of regret for the past, I know my dad knows I love him and he loves me and is glad to be with me when I can be there, but I worry I haven’t spent enough time with him since I left home. Just so so many things are playing on my mind and I just want to know how you can make it a little easier for yourself. I’m so so depressed about it, I just feel miserable.
Any advice would be nice, I’m finding everything so difficult at the moment, I’m not enjoying things I normally do, just how do you cope with a parent being very unwell?