Addiction and marriage
Assalamualaikum.
I won't go into details.
I'm a revert. 31F. My husband had been addicted to consuming adult media from before we got married which continues till date. I got to know about this, the last year and ever since, life has been extremely difficult emotionally, physically and psychologically. Physically - it's taken a toll on my health but I'd been in therapy but now that too doesn't work. I've got the clarity I wanted.
Now, the thing is, I can't go back home. I can't go live elsewhere.
I still do love him and I want to be with him but I want to rewire my brain into decentering him. He says he needs time but he will quit for good and that it's a process. I trust him but meanwhile, I keep undergoing panic attacks and a lot more.
How can I decenter him? it's so difficult. I've got an anxious attachment and I just don't know what to do anymore. But for sure, I love him and want to support him while he tries to change.