I’m so scared. Beyond scared. He has no idea I even gamble. Today I lost another $30k. Is he going to break up with me? I’m having a panic attack. I can’t believe I threw away our future and I hate myself so much. He means the world to me and I’m going to lose him over something as stupid as this. I will never forgive myself
I mistakenly visited r/gambling which is evidently very different from this sub. People post screen recordings of bonuses hitting and pictures of their huge winnings. I feel so triggered and have the urge to gamble from watching that. I’m like maybe I could hit that too. But I won’t! I’ll lose money! I’ll be full of shame and guilt! Right!
I feel like a “switch” flipped in me and I don’t want to gamble anymore. I realized how much it was ruining my life and I deleted and self excluded from all of it. I feel great. That was only a few days ago but I haven’t considered gambling at all since then. I don’t have any urges to gamble. But will this last forever? Maybe I will forget these feelings and go back to it when I save money again from regular pay. Maybe I will think “just a small deposit” then fall down the hole again. Maybe I will receive a scratch ticket for Christmas and win something and go out and buy more. Every day I see ads all over my social media for gambling. I’m scared there will be some unpredictable trigger and I will turn into someone else again. I can’t let that happen… How can I remember this feeling forever… will my money ever be safe with me?
Hi there! I’m not sure where to start. I’ve struggled with a crippling gambling addiction for years. I was in and out of hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt over and over. Now I’m at a bit of an upswing in the cycle and I’m ready to quit it. I feel lost on what money means or what normal people do with their money or how to build a savings slowly. Basically now I have a $350k mortgage and no other debts. The house is worth at least $500k. And I have $60k in retirement. I feel like I’m in a really good place now, especially compared to times in the past I had over $200k of bad debt. I’m done with the extreme volatility and I’m ready to just save slowly and be a bit more “normal”. My biweekly pay is like $2200 which seems so crazy to think that I have to wait 2 weeks to get that when I could win or lose that in 1 minute! Absolutely never start gambling! This is the first time in a long time that my goal isn’t “pay off the next credit card”. I may have to move next year for work to a much more expensive city where houses cost about $800k. So I guess that’s my new goal. I feel stupid and clueless about how to work towards that in a normal way. When it’s hundreds of thousands of dollars it starts to feel like less real to me and more of a blur and I think things like “what difference would $10k make”. I feel like my financial sense is so so broken. But I think I’m at a good starting point so I want to try to set myself up for success. Thanks for listening to this rambling and if you have any suggestions or advice I’d love to hear it.
Over the last few days, I have lost $30k, then won $40k (so +10k net at that moment), then lost 70k (so -60k net at that time), then won 55k, so basically since the beginning I’m down a total of 5k. (Who knows if my math even makes sense). Which is a huge difference than having -$60k, but it feels like all of this stress has been for nothing. My heart is about to explode from living like this. I feel a huge relief that I’m not in 60k debt anymore. But I have no sense of what money is worth either because one day I could be looking at bankruptcy and the next looking at vacations. I have bipolar disorder which I wonder if that could be a factor because I’ve always been used to extremes. It feels boring and I feel restless just making a normal wage at a job and saving money over time. I don’t know I hate this!
My finances are out of control, between so many different gambling sites, bank accounts, credit cards, loans, bills, wins, losses, it’s just like a circus of money moving around that I can never keep track of. About a week ago I lost $30k from one site. Then I joined a different site and was up and down but now I’m looking at about $25k+ (with a lot of risk) but it doesn’t feel like anything! I’m still overall down $5k from last week and I’m still down hundreds of thousands over the years. When will I be satisfied? There is no end to it. I’m still drowning in debt. While I still have so much debt it feels tempting to try to win money to pay it off. I dream about having no debt and being able to get on with my life. But maybe if I keep going the debt will get worse and I’ll wish I had stopped now. Or maybe I’ll be working my butt off for years and years for something that could’ve been fixed in a few minutes on my phone. How does one decide on a stopping point? I know I should have never started but now I’m in this huge mess. I wouldn’t wish on anyone to start gambling.
I can’t stop relapsing. Is it greed? Is it seeking relief? Is it because of the rush? Over the last few years I’ve struggled with this stupid addiction winning and losing winning and losing, I lost probably $200k net until I quit. I was feeling good after I quit. And then I relapsed again! I lost $30k. Then I told myself I have to win that money back or I’m so screwed. I was able to win $8k back. It’s like what’s the difference between $30k and $22k on a credit card? Either way I’m screwed. I’m always getting confused about money and losing the reality of what it’s worth. It’s crazy that in 5 minutes I can win or lose $5k. But if I were to save that up just by working it would take months after paying bills etc to be able to save that. For $30k it would take years. Or it could take a few minutes on my phone. This is the worst addiction there is. I’m addicted to drugs too and this is worse. I feel the highest highs and lowest lows when gambling and I love the adrenaline and I’m addicted to the emotional roller coaster. If I’m not doing it it’s like I feel restless and uncomfortable. I know the answer is just to quit!?!?!?!?! But I can’t!?!?!?!?!