u/ScreenSea1364

Assalam u Alaikum. I’m writing this because I have been living with regret, confusion, guilt and depression for almost two years now, and maybe someone will finally tell me what to do with my life. I come from a simple middle class family, was always an above-average student, and the first girl in my home who was going to university. After FSc premed in 2022, I spent a year on MCAT but couldn’t clear it. During that gap year, I randomly gave NET by self studying from the internet and on 15 November 2023, NUST emailed me that I got admission in BS Food Science and Technology. I can’t explain the happiness I felt that day; my father arranged the entire fee in two days by even taking a loan, and I joined NUST. The moment I entered NUST, I fell in love with everything the environment, the teachers, the aura, the professionalism. It felt like I had entered a place where I truly belonged. But because it was the first batch of Food Science, students used to discuss “scope,” and since I had no exposure and a very perfectionist mindset, I got extremely insecure. I have always had this unhealthy habit since childhood that I get influenced by others very quickly, and I compare myself to everyone. So instead of trusting the process, I panicked and started looking at CS because YouTube was constantly telling me “CS has money, remote jobs, scope, skills matter not university,” etc. Even though I hated maths since childhood, even though I didn’t even understand what coding was, even though I was genuinely happy at NUST, I convinced myself that Food Science had no scope and CS was the “real career.” Without even visiting the campus, without guidance, without thinking for even one proper week, I made the stupidest decision of my life: I left NUST after just one month and took admission in COMSATS Attock in January 2024 just because it was near my home. I genuinely believe no one in Pakistan has made a more foolish decision than I did. The shock began the moment I stepped into COMSATS Attock — the environment felt like a completely different world: strict, judgmental, zero grooming, weak faculty, and no academic culture. I had gone from a top university to a place where even basic coding wasn’t taught properly, and I couldn’t do even the simplest assignments. But now I was stuck. I kept telling myself “BSCS will give me money,” but the truth was that I had zero aptitude for CS. I couldn’t do logic, I couldn’t do coding, maths scared me, and my mental health completely collapsed. Every day I woke up with regret about NUST; every night I slept with the same regret. My GPA in COMSATS is 2.9 even though getting a 3.5 there is the easiest thing. I have done ZERO projects. I am now in 5th semester but I genuinely don’t know even basic programming, because I am naturally weak at maths and logics even in matric I was good in al subjects and was so bad at maths ,even thn I choose CS,that's much level of foolishness .One more thing the nust oppurtunities and environemnt ,I missed so much.Comsats attock is like random degree government college with no system and the shame I hold within myself that I left pakistan top institute and join the worst university and that trauma is making me mad . My father has always been supportive — even after spending 10–12 lakh on my education, he told me I could quit if I wanted, even though our income is in thousands. But I’m scared that if I can’t clear NET and leave my degree midway, what will happen,this fear is also attach with me. For 1.5 years my life has been depression, regret, crying, and stalking NUST videos and reels every single day like a person stuck in the past. I feel like everyone who stayed at NUST is living in heaven while I threw away my entire future because of fear, comparison, and FOMO. I went to a career counsellor recently and he told me openly that I have zero aptitude for technical fields; my strengths are in public administration, social sciences, management roles. And honestly, I know he’s right. I’m good with communication and leadership, not coding. But now I’m stuck: Should I continue BSCS just because I’ve already wasted time? Should I prepare NET again and try for Public Administration or Food Science again in 2026? But then I think: I did FSc in 2022… So I will finish a degree in 2030 because of my own mistakes at the age of 26 And what about money? What about job prospects? What about my age? At the same time I think maybe I should just finish BSCS somehow and then do MS Human Resource Management and shift to management side. But is that even practical when I’m not learning anything in BSCS? I’m mentally exhausted, emotionally unstable, have memory issues now, cry daily, hate myself for leaving NUST, and feel like I have destroyed not only my own career but also my father’s hard-earned money. I know all this sounds stupid and messy, but I swear my intentions were never wrong I just had zero exposure and no guidance. Please helpI know I made a bad decision and I’m ashamed of it. My mental health has suffered, I’ve developed several issues during this period, and I feel like my whole personality has changed. I constantly feel as if my life is ruined. now I genuinely want advice from people here in cs or may be other fields What should I do now? Should I leave BSCS and start a fresh BS in Public Administration or Food Science at NUST in 2026? Will it be worth it even if I graduate late? Or should I somehow drag BSCS till the end and then switch to MS Human resource Management? Please guide me honestly. I don’t know what to do. My life feels stuck in regret and trauma.Here at comsats attock they don't teach us logic or problem soving,even codes k ratty marwa rhy hoty.getting 4 gpa is like a cup of tea like just study a day bfore in mids and finals and you are easy t go.In my case I pass my 2.5 years in depression that even in papers I could'nt focus on my exams thats why my gpa also got distrupted.and even in 5th semester we are not able to write even basic program without chatgpt and its same for 3.9 gpa students .I am living in hell plz give me advice. Also interests develop when teachers teach properly.I am in 5th semester and yesterday I saw a lecture of Fast professor teaching ICT to first semester students and the way they were teaching it got me shocked bcz the things they were teaching in 1st class we even don't know in 5th semester.Kindly advice me on my scenario that what should I do like its been 4 years since I did fsc and in 2023 got into nust and 2024 spring into worst university and even after 5th smester I don't know anything and no skills .people will say skills khud seekhni hoti but turth is university base bnati he wo parhayen hi na to kia krein and also we spend 10 to 12 hours in university and self learning time is so short pLZ advice me on my scenario I feek suicidal thoughts also.If you are tech graduate or anyone who can understand my situation plz give me advice

Assalam u Alaikum. I’m writing this because I have been living with regret, confusion, guilt and depression for almost two years now, and maybe someone will finally tell me what to do with my life. I come from a simple middle class family, was always an above-average student, and the first girl in my home who was going to university. After FSc premed in 2022, I spent a year on MCAT but couldn’t clear it. During that gap year, I randomly gave NET by self studying from the internet and on 15 November 2023, NUST emailed me that I got admission in BS Food Science and Technology. I can’t explain the happiness I felt that day; my father arranged the entire fee in two days by even taking a loan, and I joined NUST. The moment I entered NUST, I fell in love with everything the environment, the teachers, the aura, the professionalism. It felt like I had entered a place where I truly belonged. But because it was the first batch of Food Science, students used to discuss “scope,” and since I had no exposure and a very perfectionist mindset, I got extremely insecure. I have always had this unhealthy habit since childhood that I get influenced by others very quickly, and I compare myself to everyone. So instead of trusting the process, I panicked and started looking at CS because YouTube was constantly telling me “CS has money, remote jobs, scope, skills matter not university,” etc. Even though I hated maths since childhood, even though I didn’t even understand what coding was, even though I was genuinely happy at NUST, I convinced myself that Food Science had no scope and CS was the “real career.” Without even visiting the campus, without guidance, without thinking for even one proper week, I made the stupidest decision of my life: I left NUST after just one month and took admission in COMSATS Attock in January 2024 just because it was near my home. I genuinely believe no one in Pakistan has made a more foolish decision than I did. The shock began the moment I stepped into COMSATS Attock — the environment felt like a completely different world: strict, judgmental, zero grooming, weak faculty, and no academic culture. I had gone from a top university to a place where even basic coding wasn’t taught properly, and I couldn’t do even the simplest assignments. But now I was stuck. I kept telling myself “BSCS will give me money,” but the truth was that I had zero aptitude for CS. I couldn’t do logic, I couldn’t do coding, maths scared me, and my mental health completely collapsed. Every day I woke up with regret about NUST; every night I slept with the same regret. My GPA in COMSATS is 2.9 even though getting a 3.5 there is the easiest thing. I have done ZERO projects. I am now in 5th semester but I genuinely don’t know even basic programming, because I am naturally weak at maths and logics even in matric I was good in al subjects and was so bad at maths ,even thn I choose CS,that's much level of foolishness .One more thing the nust oppurtunities and environemnt ,I missed so much.Comsats attock is like random degree government college with no system and the shame I hold within myself that I left pakistan top institute and join the worst university and that trauma is making me mad . My father has always been supportive — even after spending 10–12 lakh on my education, he told me I could quit if I wanted, even though our income is in thousands. But I’m scared that if I can’t clear NET and leave my degree midway, what will happen,this fear is also attach with me. For 1.5 years my life has been depression, regret, crying, and stalking NUST videos and reels every single day like a person stuck in the past. I feel like everyone who stayed at NUST is living in heaven while I threw away my entire future because of fear, comparison, and FOMO. I went to a career counsellor recently and he told me openly that I have zero aptitude for technical fields; my strengths are in public administration, social sciences, management roles. And honestly, I know he’s right. I’m good with communication and leadership, not coding. But now I’m stuck: Should I continue BSCS just because I’ve already wasted time? Should I prepare NET again and try for Public Administration or Food Science again in 2026? But then I think: I did FSc in 2022… So I will finish a degree in 2030 because of my own mistakes at the age of 26 And what about money? What about job prospects? What about my age? At the same time I think maybe I should just finish BSCS somehow and then do MS Human Resource Management and shift to management side. But is that even practical when I’m not learning anything in BSCS? I’m mentally exhausted, emotionally unstable, have memory issues now, cry daily, hate myself for leaving NUST, and feel like I have destroyed not only my own career but also my father’s hard-earned money. I know all this sounds stupid and messy, but I swear my intentions were never wrong I just had zero exposure and no guidance. Please helpI know I made a bad decision and I’m ashamed of it. My mental health has suffered, I’ve developed several issues during this period, and I feel like my whole personality has changed. I constantly feel as if my life is ruined. now I genuinely want advice from people here in cs or may be other fields What should I do now? Should I leave BSCS and start a fresh BS in Public Administration or Food Science at NUST in 2026? Will it be worth it even if I graduate late? Or should I somehow drag BSCS till the end and then switch to MS Human resource Management? Please guide me honestly. I don’t know what to do. My life feels stuck in regret and trauma.Here at comsats attock they don't teach us logic or problem soving,even codes k ratty marwa rhy hoty.getting 4 gpa is like a cup of tea like just study a day bfore in mids and finals and you are easy t go.In my case I pass my 2.5 years in depression that even in papers I could'nt focus on my exams thats why my gpa also got distrupted.and even in 5th semester we are not able to write even basic program without chatgpt and its same for 3.9 gpa students .I am living in hell plz give me advice. Also interests develop when teachers teach properly.I am in 5th semester and yesterday I saw a lecture of Fast professor teaching ICT to first semester students and the way they were teaching it got me shocked bcz the things they were teaching in 1st class we even don't know in 5th semester.Kindly advice me on my scenario that what should I do like its been 4 years since I did fsc and in 2023 got into nust and 2024 spring into worst university and even after 5th smester I don't know anything and no skills .people will say skills khud seekhni hoti but turth is university base bnati he wo parhayen hi na to kia krein and also we spend 10 to 12 hours in university and self learning time is so short pLZ advice me on my scenario I feek suicidal thoughts also.If you are tech graduate or anyone who can understand my situation plz give me advice

Assalam u Alaikum. I’m writing this because I have been living with regret, confusion, guilt and depression for almost two years now, and maybe someone will finally tell me what to do with my life. I come from a simple middle class family, was always an above-average student, and the first girl in my home who was going to university. After FSc premed in 2022, I spent a year on MCAT but couldn’t clear it. During that gap year, I randomly gave NET by self studying from the internet and on 15 November 2023, NUST emailed me that I got admission in BS Food Science and Technology. I can’t explain the happiness I felt that day; my father arranged the entire fee in two days by even taking a loan, and I joined NUST. The moment I entered NUST, I fell in love with everything the environment, the teachers, the aura, the professionalism. It felt like I had entered a place where I truly belonged. But because it was the first batch of Food Science, students used to discuss “scope,” and since I had no exposure and a very perfectionist mindset, I got extremely insecure. I have always had this unhealthy habit since childhood that I get influenced by others very quickly, and I compare myself to everyone. So instead of trusting the process, I panicked and started looking at CS because YouTube was constantly telling me “CS has money, remote jobs, scope, skills matter not university,” etc. Even though I hated maths since childhood, even though I didn’t even understand what coding was, even though I was genuinely happy at NUST, I convinced myself that Food Science had no scope and CS was the “real career.” Without even visiting the campus, without guidance, without thinking for even one proper week, I made the stupidest decision of my life: I left NUST after just one month and took admission in COMSATS Attock in January 2024 just because it was near my home. I genuinely believe no one in Pakistan has made a more foolish decision than I did. The shock began the moment I stepped into COMSATS Attock — the environment felt like a completely different world: strict, judgmental, zero grooming, weak faculty, and no academic culture. I had gone from a top university to a place where even basic coding wasn’t taught properly, and I couldn’t do even the simplest assignments. But now I was stuck. I kept telling myself “BSCS will give me money,” but the truth was that I had zero aptitude for CS. I couldn’t do logic, I couldn’t do coding, maths scared me, and my mental health completely collapsed. Every day I woke up with regret about NUST; every night I slept with the same regret. My GPA in COMSATS is 2.9 even though getting a 3.5 there is the easiest thing. I have done ZERO projects. I am now in 5th semester but I genuinely don’t know even basic programming, because I am naturally weak at maths and logics even in matric I was good in al subjects and was so bad at maths ,even thn I choose CS,that's much level of foolishness .One more thing the nust oppurtunities and environemnt ,I missed so much.Comsats attock is like random degree government college with no system and the shame I hold within myself that I left pakistan top institute and join the worst university and that trauma is making me mad . My father has always been supportive — even after spending 10–12 lakh on my education, he told me I could quit if I wanted, even though our income is in thousands. But I’m scared that if I can’t clear NET and leave my degree midway, what will happen,this fear is also attach with me. For 1.5 years my life has been depression, regret, crying, and stalking NUST videos and reels every single day like a person stuck in the past. I feel like everyone who stayed at NUST is living in heaven while I threw away my entire future because of fear, comparison, and FOMO. I went to a career counsellor recently and he told me openly that I have zero aptitude for technical fields; my strengths are in public administration, social sciences, management roles. And honestly, I know he’s right. I’m good with communication and leadership, not coding. But now I’m stuck: Should I continue BSCS just because I’ve already wasted time? Should I prepare NET again and try for Public Administration or Food Science again in 2026? But then I think: I did FSc in 2022… So I will finish a degree in 2030 because of my own mistakes at the age of 26 And what about money? What about job prospects? What about my age? At the same time I think maybe I should just finish BSCS somehow and then do MS Human Resource Management and shift to management side. But is that even practical when I’m not learning anything in BSCS? I’m mentally exhausted, emotionally unstable, have memory issues now, cry daily, hate myself for leaving NUST, and feel like I have destroyed not only my own career but also my father’s hard-earned money. I know all this sounds stupid and messy, but I swear my intentions were never wrong I just had zero exposure and no guidance. Please helpI know I made a bad decision and I’m ashamed of it. My mental health has suffered, I’ve developed several issues during this period, and I feel like my whole personality has changed. I constantly feel as if my life is ruined. now I genuinely want advice from people here in cs or may be other fields What should I do now? Should I leave BSCS and start a fresh BS in Public Administration or Food Science at NUST in 2026? Will it be worth it even if I graduate late? Or should I somehow drag BSCS till the end and then switch to MS Human resource Management? Please guide me honestly. I don’t know what to do. My life feels stuck in regret and trauma.Here at comsats attock they don't teach us logic or problem soving,even codes k ratty marwa rhy hoty.getting 4 gpa is like a cup of tea like just study a day bfore in mids and finals and you are easy t go.In my case I pass my 2.5 years in depression that even in papers I could'nt focus on my exams thats why my gpa also got distrupted.and even in 5th semester we are not able to write even basic program without chatgpt and its same for 3.9 gpa students .I am living in hell