I survived a statistically "impossible" OD 1.5 years ago. Now I’m starting to believe in Quantum Immortality and Panpsychism.
I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on something that happened 1.5 years ago and I need to share this with people who understand the "weird" side of reality.
Back then, I had reached a point where I felt like I had "finished" the game of life.
There was nothing new to experience, no more joy, just emptiness.
So I decided to clock out.
I took 50 pills of Diazepam and washed them down with half a liter of Vodka on an empty stomach.
No tolerance.
Statistically and medically speaking, I should be dead.
But I didn't die.
I woke up 2 days later.
No brain damage (hypoxia)
No organ failure
No aspiration pneumonia.
Just... back.
Since then, my perspective has shifted completely.
I used to be suicidal because "nothing mattered."
Now, I have this eerie sense of calm because I feel like my consciousness is an "individual wave" that simply refuses to stop.
It’s like I’m a "self-observer" in a quantum sense, as long as my consciousness observes itself, I cannot collapse into the state of "death."
I’m currently working a chill remote job, making $29/h.
For the first time, I’m actually smiling about the absurdity of it all.
I’m not scared anymore.
I’m not even "trying" to live; I just am.
Has anyone else experienced a "forced survival" that defied all medical logic?
It feels like I’m playing the bonus level of a game I already finished and honestly?
It’s fucking wild.