Surprised by my Exile
My therapist and I did an exercise the other day to talk with my exile/inner child (I picture them as being 7 or 8). I set a chair aside so my protector had a place to sit and watch from a distance. My therapist asked me where in my body I felt my exile, and I said in my chest. She had me place a hand on my chest, and then asked me what my exile did in response.
My exile held my hand.
My therapist continued to guide the conversation, and my exile sat on the ground next to my chair (opposite from where my protector was sitting). She asked how my exile felt toward my protector.
"She's scary and makes me feel alone."
Then she asked how my exile felt toward my adult self. I was expecting... disappointment, or fear, or even anger.
"You seem big and strong and I want to be like you when I grow up."
It kind of blew my mind, that my hurt and scared inner child actually sees my current self as someone worth being. I was so used to listening to my protectors that I instinctively anticipated harshness or cruelty. Instead I got pure and compassionate love.