So is it my medication or am I suffering from some sort of trauma?
Last summer I had severe Status Epilepticus, I’m talking 1 week coma, my kidneys failed so I needed dialysis, I got a lung infection, I was on life support… basically the whole shabang if we’re being quite honest. My neurologist counted it as a medication failure and I’ve since switched up from Lamotrigine and Keppra to Carbamazepine and Keppra (I also tried Valproic Acid, but continued to have Onset Focals so we switched to Carbamazepine which has been doing its job as I just hit 7 weeks without any seizures).
Since June I’ve had random panic attacks, deep depression (not at all times, but frequently enough for me to really notice it and when I get depressed it’s pretty intense), I’ll find myself becoming nervous or anxious in high density places and I have to remove myself because I start sweating profusely, this occurs at family gatherings as well, not just in public areas with random people, I find it very difficult to have a conversation or continue and interesting conversation unless im in a comfortable location (this is new.. I used to be in advertising for the local news…)
Another major thing I noticed recently that I guess I’ve been doing for a while but didn’t notice is I can’t find interest in things I used to enjoy, I can’t think about things that I would like to do or see, I tried to think about something I’d really enjoy doing this summer and my mind completely drew a blank… all I think about is “I’m almost 2 months seizure free, I don’t want to risk anything to fuck that up” or “I’m only 2 months seizure free, what if I have another one and fuck my plans up?” Or something that really messed with me is I had a moment when things didn’t feel right and then all I could think about is “what if I’m still in that coma… the world seems too messed up right now to be real”… there’s so many more examples but that’s all I want to fit in here.
I just don’t know if this is a medication thing or if I might have actually been very very messed up from my sever SE episode and need medical help. I’ve made an appointment with my doctor and psychiatrist but want to know if anyone else on this forum has experienced something similar…
Cheers everyone, and stay safe!