Women who de-center men have more harmony with each other…
The title says it all. The cat fights, gossip, manipulating, gatekeeping, stealing each other’s “man” etc. Women who are in conflict with each other often are in this artificial dysfunctional state because of men. Women are suffering from divide and conquer, and because of this belief that they need a man for survival (resources, education, a nice lifestyle or basic survival, etc.), they put up with all his dysfunction, but they become dysfunctional themselves, because they believe they need to compete with other women for that man in order to keep the survival resources. They act that way mainly for survival.
But I have noticed that in a space like this, the 4B space, when men are de-centered, there is something different happening. The woman starts to become more of who she truly is. I believe the true nature of women is love. Her true loving nature is drained and abused when with a man- it’s like trying to love a crocodile that can only bite. But I’ve noticed that women are more harmonious with each other in this space, because there is a fundamental change in the operating system after that decentering happens. It makes me think of a beautiful future with possibilities. Women living free and alone, but also in harmony together, or women living together- I wonder what could be the source of conflict if that main one is removed. Usually women- friends, family, coworkers, strangers- compete over things like looks, fashion, body shape, status, etc. but it usually boils down to the desirability factor with men. With that factor removed, I wonder how the female relationships would be. Even in the online space I find it more harmonious, but in real life also I think it can also be quite fruitful. Especially when we are able to heal and find new ways to construct our lives and dynamics with women. If we don’t need to attract men, and have resources to live and survive (this is the part to figure out) then we women don’t have a reason to be in conflict with each other. I think we are wired for harmony and sisterhood (not in the brotherhood fake bonding way of getting together to bash and bully women), and we should not let men take away that inner core of love and harmony.
p.s : Many women in religious female spaces like nunneries etc. can also be cruel to each other because there’s a hierarchy (ie mother superior etc)- but they are operating within a system that is dominated by men, so even if they are celibate, it seems to have similarities to the brothels with hierarchies (ie the madame etc.). But I think it’s because they are trying to function in a system that is catering to the male gaze- whether by surveillance or power/lust. There is a theory that Buddha’s teachings “went downhill because they allowed women to become nuns” - but it’s not because of the nuns themselves, but rather that the men could not handle the women coming into that space with all their power and lustful dysfunction (and of course they blamed it on the women). I have observed that many women are naturally more spiritually inclined and many are naturally celibate compared to men.