u/Rewindsunshine

I’m going to call this my Mother’s Day gift from my son.

Nobody has heard from him for a while so I have no idea how he is doing but the alienator wasn’t entirely successful at blocking me from all school communication. Sometimes they randomly send me stuff, ask me to sign off on things or update insurance info, things like that. So, I was going through my emails and saw an email from his high school with a list of materials that needs to be returned before the end of the school year and there is a title of a book that I enjoyed in high school that his dad never would have chosen in a million years.

I’m still smiling about it.

I guess it’s been a fear of mine that my son, despite looking like my literal clone, will turn out to be like his dad. Hearing him parrot his dad’s delusional rants verbatim absolutely stabbed me in the heart & it left a scar where his dad turned on me that I’ll never forget. But here is this little reminder that a piece of me is alive still in my son, despite the alienation, despite his dad trying to squish me out of existence. There is my emotionally sensitive, artistic son, exploring the same topics I did at his age and idk it just made me happy to know he’s still somehow walking his own path, even if it’s in his father’s shadow for now. It gives me hope that he isn’t entirely brainwashed, he’s just scared & trying to find his way and I am gonna be here when he does!!

That’s a pretty awesome Mother’s Day gift, intended or not. :)

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u/Rewindsunshine — 4 days ago

I’m taking a coms class and have really struggled with the assignments where we’re analyzing body language. I just had to watch a TEDtalk on lie spotting and I realized how much I suck at that too. Generally, I take what people say at face value and tend to be a very blunt person.

I was also talking to my mom about how I didn’t get the sort of bullying by her mother that she and my sister experienced. I figure it’s because I didn’t react and so it wasn’t enjoyable for her to bother with. That, or I was entirely oblivious so it wasn’t as hurtful. I really have to be pushed far before I have a meltdown and everyone says my anger/reaction comes out of nowhere like I am a psycho lol and of course, I am like nooooo YOU are the weirdos — I am perfectly normal! :P

It’s funny too because today my mom and my Uncle were going through my Grandmothers things that have become a mess due to her dementia & apparently I had the same exact reaction he did to it and he always says he and I have Asperger’s lol

Idk man, shit on my mind tonight & I can’t sleep 🤷‍♀️

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u/Rewindsunshine — 17 days ago