Is this not fraud?
Last July a friend of mine died tragically and unexpectedly.
Her sister set up a GoFundMe fundraiser citing the twin goals of helping to pay for her cremation and memorial service. While I couldn't make a large donation, up until about 6 weeks ago I was steadily donating $20, $25, or $30 from nearly every paycheck to the fundraiser. I sent emails to the sister several times through the GoFundMe site, each time asking her if the family intended to have a memorial service for my friend once the financial goal of the fundraiser had been met. I kept checking but never found any notice anywhere of a funeral being held for her
About 6 weeks ago, the sister contacted me on messenger and told me that my friend's cremation and funeral service had already taken place last September. She went on to explain that the family had kept it private because they did not agree with my friend's lifestyle (she was a drug user and they did not want to chance any of her--in their opinion--sub-human druggie friends showing up to pay their respects at her funeral). Fine. Although disappointed, I truly don't have an issue with the family choosing to grieve in private and not make any public announcement regarding her funeral. I am positive that my friend would not have agreed with that decision--she had more compassion than that, but thats irrelevant. What I have a problem with is all those months AFTER the funeral, after the reasons for starting the fundraiser in the first place had been resolved, that my friends sister kept it active and kept taking my money. How is that not fraud? I feel like the sister should have stopped taking my donations after K's funeral, or at the very least answered the first email I sent her letting me know it was all over and done instead of milking the fundraiser for a little extra fun money. And am I being a jerk for wanting the money back that I have donated since last September? In the field I work in ethical behavior is both an absolute necessity and a top priority, and this feels unethical to me. Perhaps it's not considered fraudulent for her to keep the fundraiser active and keep soliciting donations to help pay for funeral services that occurred months ago. I feel foolish, however, like I have been lied to and duped because had I known my friends funerary needs had been met I would have not continued to donate. I'm sure the sister knew that and left it up specifically so she could continue to take donations under what amounts to false pretences.